Family & Relationships How do you get over a girl?

[.M a t t.]

Saw this thread and wasn't going to start a new one.
Been with this girl probably 4 months now, but I just can't stop letting her past get to me? She has been through a lot and when something traumatic happened to her she used sex as a remedy basically. Anyway to not let it get to me??

 

[raff23]

you deleted her number? deleted her off FBook?

just do it matey, makes life a lot easier

then hurry up and get that transfer

and never ever date a chick you work with again.

Nobody should date anyone they work with.

Theres no need for any of that because she is leaving the store in a month, im keeping as minimal contact as possible ( "hey" "hi" etc) and trying to avoid being were she will be. Everything will be fine once she is out of my sight, at the end of the day she will be irrelevant anyway once i start getting active again with other girls which will happen eventually.

 

[raff23]

You sound like my older mate, slaying more women than his younger days now.

But raff just immerse yourself around your good friends, keep yourself busy with activities you like doing. Get pissed and root as many women as possible, while you have the chance. Who cares if you work with her, i've worked with a partner before. Just ignore the bitch, I did. Worked brilliantly because she kept getting in a huff about it, made her feel like shit. Try do the same to her if she's making you feel like shit, **** her, obviously toying with you.

no definately not toying, just unaware that i still feel weird towards her. She does her own thing anyway, she has a pretty senior role in the store atm so shes pretty much immersed in that till she leaves. She acts like a normal co worker would, she isnt a bitch either, shes actually a top chick, things just werent right for her at the time and that happens. she has alot on her plate. Its pretty much my issue that i need to deal with and has nothing to do with her so whatever i can to help me get over it i will do it but i wont be giving the cold shoulder.

 

[The_Bulldogs_Bite]

Saw this thread and wasn't going to start a new one.
Been with this girl probably 4 months now, but I just can't stop letting her past get to me? She has been through a lot and when something traumatic happened to her she used sex as a remedy basically. Anyway to not let it get to me??

The 'past' thing often causes trouble in relationships, I've experienced it in the past a little, but basically - for future reference - don't dive into the questions you may not want answers for. I've learnt that there's a difference between being 'honest' with one another, and being stupidly open to the point that it does more harm than good. Seriously - some things are better left unsaid.

As for your situation, you either get over it and judge her on who she is with you, or you find somebody else if you can't let it go. Might sound simplistic, but really, it is.

Theres no need for any of that because she is leaving the store in a month, im keeping as minimal contact as possible ( "hey" "hi" etc) and trying to avoid being were she will be. Everything will be fine once she is out of my sight, at the end of the day she will be irrelevant anyway once i start getting active again with other girls which will happen eventually.

I know where you're coming from, and you obviously know what you need to be doing to get better so to speak ... but you're hardly convincing anyone let alone yourself that you're ready to 'move on'. Don't be the nice guy and stay friends with her. If you wanna get over her then delete her number, facebook and whatever else you've got of hers. For the remaining days/weeks you're working together - don't pay her attention. Don't look and smile at her, derive her of any (unconscious) satsifaction. I say unconscious because you're describing her as a genuine nice girl who isn't toying with you. Regardless of that, unconsciously, she still is in a way. Woman's instinct, if you will.

The sooner you get on top of that and put yourself over her, the sooner you'll be ready to meet other women when you head out. Until you do that, you're in limbo and you're going nowhere IMO.

 

[Coolangatta]

You sound like my older mate, slaying more women than his younger days now.

How many women has he killed?

 

[Power King]

Theres no need for any of that because she is leaving the store in a month, im keeping as minimal contact as possible ( "hey" "hi" etc) and trying to avoid being were she will be. Everything will be fine once she is out of my sight, at the end of the day she will be irrelevant anyway once i start getting active again with other girls which will happen eventually.

You're not kidding anyone in this thread but yourself, as much as you don't want to read this from me, or in all likeliness dismiss the point in this post.

If it's so insignificant, then for what reason would you bother keeping her as a contact anyway? There is no reason, and the sooner you realise this, and I mean really realise it, you'll have learnt one of the most important things there is to understand.

 

[Chops_a_must]

I swam a mile in the sea today, about half way through I decided I didn't need women.

You know what's sad? I'm 36 now and thanks to a disciplined exercise regime, my winning smile and easy-going charm I seem to be more attractive to women than when I was a tongue-tied youngster.

But I just can't be bothered any more.

This. I'm much more popular with women than I was when I was younger, but I just can not be stuffed.

Give me a couple of close mates anyday, and I wont ever need a woman.

Relationships bring out the worst in most of the guys I know. There's that whole other side of bullshit that you don't ever need to know about yourself.

 

[krusden]

Theres no need for any of that because she is leaving the store in a month, im keeping as minimal contact as possible ( "hey" "hi" etc) and trying to avoid being were she will be. Everything will be fine once she is out of my sight, at the end of the day she will be irrelevant anyway once i start getting active again with other girls which will happen eventually.

no, it won't.

however thats for you to decide.... but its just my advice that I'd **** her off totally.

 

[Brad Goodman]

made a silly decision last nite, went to this girl's best mates bday drinks thing at a bar in the city, thought i was over this girl but seeing her last nite i clearly havent. She didnt pick up but i was depressed every time i saw her ( which is pathetic, harden the eff up and go and pick up or chat to other chicks which is what i should have done), found out she has been hooking up with a guy from her mates as well which i didnt feel too great about, she s been with a few since me i havent which is pretty much the main issue here. Ended up blowing a ton of money and being angry for the rest of the night. Im counting the days till she moves stores and can get some genuine closure on this crap.

You need to change jobs. Supermarkets/fast food restaruants/other big stores with lots of young employees are generally very incestuous environments which you don't seen equipped to handle.

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

I swam a mile in the sea today, about half way through I decided I didn't need women.

You know what's sad? I'm 36 now and thanks to a disciplined exercise regime, my winning smile and easy-going charm I seem to be more attractive to women than when I was a tongue-tied youngster.

But I just can't be bothered any more.

this is like reading about me, similar age too. what to do? cos we still love the taste of pussy but can't be stuffed with the effort to get it.

 

[Gus]

this is like reading about me, similar age too. what to do? cos we still love the taste of pussy but can't be stuffed with the effort to get it.

Save up the dollars and just pay for it.

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

Save up the dollars and just pay for it.

yeah, nah. have never had to do visit a prostitute, altho if i ever do, it'll only be just for a blow job.

 

[Power King]

yeah, nah. have never had to do visit a prostitute, altho if i ever do, it'll only be just for a blow job.

but they don't shower/wash their mouth off between roots do they? so in effect, you'd be putting your dick where another penis was just getting wet moments before

 

[raff23]

The 'past' thing often causes trouble in relationships, I've experienced it in the past a little, but basically - for future reference - don't dive into the questions you may not want answers for. I've learnt that there's a difference between being 'honest' with one another, and being stupidly open to the point that it does more harm than good. Seriously - some things are better left unsaid.

As for your situation, you either get over it and judge her on who she is with you, or you find somebody else if you can't let it go. Might sound simplistic, but really, it is.



I know where you're coming from, and you obviously know what you need to be doing to get better so to speak ... but you're hardly convincing anyone let alone yourself that you're ready to 'move on'. Don't be the nice guy and stay friends with her. If you wanna get over her then delete her number, facebook and whatever else you've got of hers. For the remaining days/weeks you're working together - don't pay her attention. Don't look and smile at her, derive her of any (unconscious) satsifaction. I say unconscious because you're describing her as a genuine nice girl who isn't toying with you. Regardless of that, unconsciously, she still is in a way. Woman's instinct, if you will.

The sooner you get on top of that and put yourself over her, the sooner you'll be ready to meet other women when you head out. Until you do that, you're in limbo and you're going nowhere IMO.

i agree with everything you said here, at the end of the day there is no reason keeping her in contact in any way shape or form, being friends with chicks is shit lets be honest, you can accept the situation for some girls and others you just cant which is this situation, Her work friends need to be mature about it when it does happen and understand that it had to be done no matter how unexpected it might appear. No hard feelings, these things happen and we move on. If it affects how they see me personally afterwards than they can get stuffed.

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

but they don't shower/wash their mouth off between roots do they? so in effect, you'd be putting your dick where another penis was just getting wet moments before

well i'll just have to pack Listerine for her mouth and wipies for my dick, win-win

 

[Tigger Please!]

This. I'm much more popular with women than I was when I was younger, but I just can not be stuffed.

Give me a couple of close mates anyday, and I wont ever need a woman.

Relationships bring out the worst in most of the guys I know. There's that whole other side of bullshit that you don't ever need to know about yourself.

yep, starting to enter this stage now too.

 

[Rainbo Stallone]

Turn to the other side you know you want too.

 

[ripitup27]

I had one like this a few years ago and it took a long, long time to get over. We were together for a couple of years, first real GF and it was rough, but you do get over it.

Right now I've stopped seeing a girl I didn;t even like that much and it still sucks. It's just that knowing that you'll have someone around and that isn't happening anymore that gets to you.

Anyway, time heals all wounds.

 

[raff23]

I had one like this a few years ago and it took a long, long time to get over. We were together for a couple of years, first real GF and it was rough, but you do get over it.

Right now I've stopped seeing a girl I didn;t even like that much and it still sucks. It's just that knowing that you'll have someone around and that isn't happening anymore that gets to you.

Anyway, time heals all wounds.

yeah thats the big thing the "what if or if only" which goes through your head whether you see the girl again or you dont.

 

[Military_man]

Turn to the other side you know you want too.

haha @ this guy's siggy

 

[Chops_a_must]

Turn to the other side you know you want too.

Gay guys don't know how lucky they are.

I wish I didn't have to put up with female shit...

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

Gay guys don't know how lucky they are.

I wish I didn't have to put up with female shit...

this reminds of this comedian on the Comedy Channel and he was gay, and he said something like: "For us, there's no such thing as making love. What we do is BRUTAL! It HURTS!" hahaha...

 

[Rainbo Stallone]

Gay guys don't know how lucky they are.

I wish I didn't have to put up with female shit...

And we always happy and gay.

 

[Ferris_rules]

Damn got dumped and now have a broken heart.

Geez I swear after reading all the comments in here, guys take it far worse than girls.

I dont drink and loss all drive. I am barely keeping afloat and deep sadness is upon me.

I noticed I gave advice earlier last year in this thread, easier said than done.

Was going to ask her to marry me to!

 

[Coledinho]

Any warning or reason why Ferris? (always think it makes a difference in the break up process)