Autopsy Port versus an actual football team

[Shaucob_Burjan]

- I known Tredders is not a Ken fan, but a fair whack.

what did it say

 

[BornPort]

Just in case anyone thought he wasn't talking about Ken.

 

[VineValerian]

OMFG.
Where to start.

Firstly - I didn't go.
Watched on the box until half time.
Turned to another channel.
Son went. Picked him up from the bus stop. Absolutely ropeable. Slammed the car door so hard I thought he was going to rip it off it's hinges!
Expletive laden rant about the whole team.
Said he's given up and th club can **** off. Won't renew his membership.

Must admit I felt the same. People will maintain this is when the club needs members to stay fat. Personally I will most likely re-subscribe my membership, but I have total sympathy for those who stayed for the whole game to watch that inept and uncommitted crud. They deserve a medal!!!!
I can understand the sense of betrayal.

From my observations:
Bonner best - well done lad.
Ladhams - Lycett got reamed by Martin and English. Ladhams at least got some ruck taps, and brought the ball to ground in the forward lines. He's now our #1 ruck. Lycett is officially depth now.
Boak - not his best game, but worked into it.
Dixon- diabolical xelivery, but kicked a couple and gave he crumbers half a chance.
The rest - struggling to find anyone worthy of a mention.

Other:
Teamwork - non existent.
Selflessness - in short supply.
Composure, skill execution - see Teamwork.
Defensive effort - what the **** is that?
Pride in performacnce - what does that even mean?

Out of ten:
2.5

 

[tribey]

All hindsight now but I saw Hinkley shuffling across the grass before the game, hands in pockets heading for the coaches box and I did wonder Where is the intensity?

Had the chance to let him go to the Suns at the end of 2017. Blinked.

Had every right to sack him at the end of 2019. Blinked.

Where to from here? What’s the point?

 

[Ford Fairlane]

As if tonight wasn't bad enough

 

[longdonkey]

I mean if he can't defend one of them, what other role does he have anymore? Captaincy 100% needs to go to Wines soon, that immunity of him getting dropped needs to be gone.

We are a one trick pony until that changes any amount of list changes or fingering the player you think is garbage does nothing. We play too short in defence bomb into attack with only defence on our mind and bringing the ball to ground and unless we dominate the midfield we lose the game. Will not win a premiership. Game day coaching is as bad as Neil Craig.

 

[Shaucob_Burjan]

Just in case anyone thought he wasn't talking about Ken.

View attachment 1233418

Why is Tredrea not on the board?

 

[Jojay]

To save you all the hassle, Hinkleys presser summary: “I don’t have the answers”

If after nine years he doesn't have the answers, where does that leave us?

 

[1954]

I can beat that: we had Freo fans offering us constructive criticism on our board

That is arguably not as bad as toothless western welfarers who share their rented weatherboard sh*tholes in Sunshine with rats the size of fox terriers taking the p*ss out of us though.

 

[ploppy]

I don’t understand how a midfielder that looked so good against Geelong was so shit against the bulldogs. That was the difference. Boak and Motlop to retire. We need to find 2 or 3 quality mids of the level of Bailey smith

3

Bailey Smith

Age

24

Ht

185cm

Wt

86kg

Pos.

M/F

Career

Season

Last 5

D

18.3

5star

K

8.5

3star

HB

9.8

5star

M

2.3

2star

T

3.8

5star

CL

2.7

4star

D

19.8

5star

K

9.6

4star

HB

10.2

5star

M

1.8

2star

T

3.2

4star

CL

3.2

4star

D

14.8

4star

K

7.6

3star

HB

7.2

5star

M

2.0

3star

T

3.4

5star

CL

1.6

4star

, libba and bont. Or Clayton Oliver

13

Clayton Oliver

Age

27

Ht

189cm

Wt

88kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

27.8

5star

K

9.5

4star

HB

18.4

5star

M

3.2

3star

T

6.3

5star

CL

6.3

5star

D

25.1

5star

K

11.1

4star

HB

14.0

5star

M

3.6

4star

T

5.6

5star

CL

5.9

5star

D

19.2

5star

K

4.6

2star

HB

14.6

5star

M

2.0

3star

T

4.4

5star

CL

3.8

5star

...we need a guy like him.

 

[Chewy316]

Why is Tredrea not on the board?

Probably because he's not a happy clapper.

 

[port_adelaide_1870]

If after nine years he doesn't have the answers, where does that leave us?

Leaves us trying to find a new coach I would suggest

 

[Waspy79]

Why is Tredrea not on the board?

First he’d have to run to be a board member… and then there are only two member appointed board members (I think). He has more value from the outside as the inside are VFL-plants and yes-people.

 

[port_adelaide_1870]

Why god, why did you make me a port supporter! Why must I love this club.

 

[Teal Leviathan]

All hindsight now but I saw Hinkley shuffling across the grass before the game, hands in pockets heading for the coaches box and I did wonder Where is the intensity?

I recall thinking during the national anthem that the body language and/or expressions from several of our players seemed off, though Jonas is the only one that sticks in my mind.

 

[Ford Fairlane]

Why god, why did you make me a port supporter! Why must I love this club.

Not to rub it in, but the mid 70s to mid 90s were a great time to be alive.

 

[Portmagpies36]

Hopefully Motlops exit interview was done at 3/4 time

You think it took that long?

 

[KenGaveUsWhatHeDeserved]

Hinkley - failed big time. Literally every thing that a simpleton would have flagged as a issue or what the dogs would do, happened, and not only were we unprepared for it but we actively played into it like our coach is some sort of plant.

Stef Martin will be cooked almost immediately but will likely give a big few early minutes so lycett should be prepared and we should have our midfielders aware of defensive positioning at the start? Nah.

The dogs midfield and Libba in particular will be dirty about our last meeting and will come out looking for a fast start so we might want to start drew and look at defensive matchups and even play a little defensive at stoppages for the first 5mins?! Nah

After having the torch applied to him all week treloar might come out hot and we should have our wingers pay attention to him early? Nah

The dogs will seek to make Alir accountable so we should have a plan for that? Nah let’s play him deep in the goal square playing behind his man all night.

The dogs have few goalscorers and naughton has been out of form and needs a big night to get form. Is known for running and jumping at the ball so having a body in front of him might be a good idea. Nah play him from behind.

While we played well last week Marshall and Dixon struggled to hold marks with our delivery and Georgiades out will hurt us? Nah.

Our smalls last week while looking showy actually couldn’t crumb off of Dixon Marshall Ladhams to save their lives and got their goals from midfield creating play for them? Should we address that? Nah.

Wines - worked hard. Did some alright things. Great year.

Bonner - worked hard to get used in chains, used it well. Defensively alright. Has had a very good and underrated second half of year.

Amon - not really effective. Shut out. Very good year.

Lycett - unforgivable start to the game which has been a common theme this year and played a part in us losing this game. I don’t care if he works into games his starts and capitulations against average rucks this year has hurt us. Doing a super thing every now and again doesn’t make up for average contests in the ruck and being a non-threat to mark around the ground. The idea that he’s got the ruck position set up for years here is foul. He’s a mediocre ruck who is an honest trier and he’s 29. He’s got 30-40 games left here and the sooner we replace him the better.

Houston - lots of work to get to the ball, had some good stuff but also some mistakes. So so game. Weird year where he was one of the best players in the league pre-injury then became flaky after.

Boak - nothing game today. He’s a champion of the club but he’s slowed down this year and slowed down as the year went on. People expecting him to play on forever might be disappointed. He’s human. I reckon next year is his last.

Gray - tried hard but the body wasn’t willing. Story of his year. Can’t compete as a forward anymore so tries to play as a mid around packs and use his smarts.

Burton - sh*t night. Was kept busy by his opponent and offered zero help to under fire teammates and was panicked with ball. Very good year.

Dixon - sh*t night against a no name opponent. Our talls didn’t get much chance, and Dixon often brought it to ground but we expect more from our senior gun kf against a no name defender.

Alir - sh*t night. Played the game all wrong, like someone told him what to do and he did the opposite or beveridge snuck a new gameplan into his mailbox on Thursday night. Disposal was bombscare stuff. Had a great season but his game is so reliant on the opposition letting him play his way.

Rozee - moronic decision making, hands like melted butter, kicking horrific. Just bizarre. Weird year from rozee.

Bergman - meh. Had some moments both good and bad. Tonnes to like about his year. Still so young. Still time to ports him.

Duursma - poor game wasted year.

McKenzie - horrific dumb dumb dumb game. Just dumb. Played naughton like he had been paid off by naughtons Mum to let him have a go at it. Decent year but another player like Alir who is only good when the team lets him play the way he wants to play.

Dbj - invisible non effort that was as embarrassing as his year. Before this year I said he was a future captain. Right now he’s barely first 22 and if he had any trade value I would consider it. Nearly one of the worst on tonight after just such a sh*t sh*t year. He needs to be pulled aside, told to throw his all-aus award in the trash and start next year in the Maggie’s and work his butt off or he can fu** off.

Jonas - meh game, meh year, meh Captain. Hand the captaincy to wines next year cause Jonas shouldn’t even be a lock to be first 22 much less captain.

Marshall - worked hard and one of our shining lights early. Smart ball use. Still doing short run ups which is frustrating. Don’t we have a single coach with a brain cell to realise we’re teaching something wrong here that every player comes to our club with decent kicks for goal but become worse and a clear commonality is that they all take shorter run ups here? At gold cost dixon took much longer run ups. We actively try to fu** sh*t up here. Has had a decent year but needs to keep working on his game.

Drew - lol at having him on the bench watching dogs midfield walk the ball out. fu** me. Came on and did a very strong defensive job but we are getting to the stage where we can’t have a mid in there not winning his own ball while our other mids aren’t all amazing. Next season has to become a 18d+ 5 clearance a game + every single week mid.

Ladhams - poor game. Got to the drop of the ball a heap of times early, and held nothing. Wasn’t even close to holding them. At least brought them to ground (for the dogs defenders cause our small forwards are useless). Nothing game in the ruck. Actually got worse as the game went on to be honest. Had a strong second half of the year but is such a weird unit we can’t ever let him rest on his laurels and feel safe. Needs to think he’s on the fringe of being a McDonald’s worker for the foreseeable future imo.

Motlop - insipid performance. Just disgusting. Looked like me at the dentist whenever he went near the ball, which was as little as he could manage. I don’t even want him to be offered another contract right now. Why bother. His career is over.

Fantasia- downhill skier. Classic. Let’s never ever pretend that our small forwards are anything other than leeches that make something off of our midfielders or forwards. Fantasia will look good cause he’s got the skills to make something of those chances, but fu** me.

The big fuss made about our smalls leading up to this game. I would happily play 6 talls and let’s not pretend that we would be losing defensive pressure coming out. Did any of them touch a player all night or did they think they were playing people with the Black Plague?

Spp - made an effort when he came on but it was mostly useless tough guy and unskilled stuff. Poor year where he’s been played out of position. Nearly useless as a forward imo. Next year play him as a mid or just trade him.

solid review

Hinkley is a graveyard coach. a dementor

Get out Bergman, Georgiadis and Drew he will torch you like Rozee and Dursmar have tanked.

DBJ what an unspid year. Aliir will go backwards next year.

Ken destroys developing players

 

[KenGaveUsWhatHeDeserved]

Listening to Boak break down on AA post match tipped me over the edge.

Broken lads. Broken.

He can take his millions and cry on his end of season trip on a key ski somewhere, sending photos to his buddy Ken

G&GF, he got what he deserved in the end

Great servant, but his legacy was individual achievements is all the records books will show

 

[port_adelaide_1870]

Not to rub it in, but the mid 70s to mid 90s were a great time to be alive.

I was born in the mid 90s lol

 

[Jojay]

Darren Cahill is on the board isn't he? He's an elite level coach, surely he can see what's going on. Hell, I'd be more confident with him doing the job atm

 

[x_les_x]

How good was Motlop? Turn your back on the play when Wines keeps it in to give it to you and instead of playing the ball complain to the umpires instead then you realise balls still live and bulldogs players run right past you. Then you get outmarked by a midget 15cm shorter than you. Your 30 your washed up you have no speed to chase or brains to crumb or brains at all.

 

[Portmagpies36]

Not to rub it in, but the mid 70s to mid 90s were a great time to be alive.

Highlight tonight was Scotty Hodges kicking the goal before the game, his kicking and attack on the ball would put our forwards to shame.

 

[Magpiespowaz]

WORSE THAN 119

Game was over in the first 12min farken.

Dogs just wanted it more. Simple as that really. Our players were so reactive, so nervous, so fumbly.

And here I was seething all week for shitposters shitting the bed - hell, it wasn’t even close to what we served up tonight. Home Brand Hollywood Horseshit.

Soft. Insipid. Pathetic. Piss Weak. Disgraceful.

The only reason I stayed to the bitter end was because angry Port fans are piss funny and I wanted to see how many seats they could break in their Hulk-Outs

+ it was pretty funny when they turned on each other and started arguing about EPL, wtf?

FU Ports, was so looking forward of starting a “thundercloud - you were right!” thread in a few weeks…

 

[port_adelaide_1870]

WORSE THAN 119

Game was over in the first 12min farken.

Dogs just wanted it more. Simple as that really. Our players were so reactive, so nervous, so fumbly.

And here I was seething all week for shitposters shitting the bed - hell, it wasn’t even close to what we served up tonight.

Home Brand Hollywood Horseshit.

Soft. Insipid. Pathetic. Piss Weak. Disgraceful.

Look, I prolly haven’t spent as much time down at Alberton HQ as most of you guys. But the overwhelming sense I’ve got every time I’m down there is that these guys live in a bubble. Having smoke blown up their precious proverbials by a conga line of suckholes.

sh*t, after the Grand Final loss to Glenelg in 2019 I made a pretty benign comment about not being “happy with the club” and poor ol’ Alfie the boot-studder almost dropped dead from a heart attack.

Didn’t stop me from eating the “players only” snags by Allan Scott H, fu Hammer, Jonas and the old ducks running the show in absolute awe of these showponies.

These campaigners can’t handle the truth.

Errrybody’s in awe of Hinkley down there (that’s primary evidence, lol.) The campaigner ain’t going anywhere. So mods might wanna can all those threads for everyone’s mental health, lol.

Goddamn you, Ports.

Had legit already been daydreaming of starting a “thundercloud - you were right!” thread in a few weeks…

1 million percent not worse than 119…