Autopsy Port versus an actual football team

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50 seconds in. Instant clearance against, shit defending, fumble, mistake, Smith, Snap, Goal. Uh oh. It's happening.

3 minutes later I knew we were done and the score was only 7-0. 4 minutes into a ****ing home Prelim and I knew we weren't winning. You could tell straight away. Waltzed it out of the middle with ease. Tackled hard. Our players fumbled, mumbled, bumbled, dropped, fell over, kicked to them.

Then 5 minutes after that we were 4 goals down. But then we have our chances. And surprise surprise what did we see? The same thing we always do.

Boak - Misses a 'shit we need this' set shot once again.
Dixon - What the **** are you doing? Why are you trying to snap from there? Kick. ****ing. Straight.
Gray - Out on the full. Well we're definitely cooked now.

What followed for about 30 minutes after that was just disgraceful. No other words to put it. No beating around the bush. Pathetic. Insipid. Epic ****ing Choke. Bigger choke than the 03 QF. Bigger choke than the 07 GF. Bigger choke than the 02 QF. 7 goals to 1 at 1/4 time. Speechless. I was literally sitting there speechless.

A lot of players need the ****ing riot act.

DBJ has had a shitful year this year. Shitful. He was worse than shitful tonight. Jogging around like a muppet. Put him up for trade.

I want my Dan Houston back. The one that was safe as houses and was happy to put his body on the line. His first 6 weeks were great, then he's been crap. At the moment he's scared of his own shadow and plays that way. Was terrible in the first half tonight. Terrible.

Rozee. Has had a pretty good year, but for **** sake, if he ****ing gets the ball and takes the weak way out by just handballing behind him again i'm gonna lose my mind. Take the ****ing game on. STOP HANDBALLING BEHIND YOU EVERYTIME YOU GET THE ****ING BALL. Bailey Smith tears the shit out of two finals and if they win the whole thing will be revered as a legend. Thats where you need to get to Rozee. Where were you tonight? Where where you? Fumbly, scared to get the ball, scared to take the game on and kicked like he had no clue. You could tell too. Watching him after his disposal, he knew he was choking.

Motlop, Congrats on your career. Next.

Wines, another fail in a big game.

Boak, another fail in a big game.

Jonas, another fail in a big game. Mitch Hannan ffs.

Aliir, outstanding year, but he choked big time with ball in hand tonight.

Durrsma, you need to do more. DO MORE.

One of my kids was crying in the third quarter. Devastated.

Make changes Port. Make the changes.
 
Macca19 said:
50 seconds in. Instant clearance against, sh*t defending, fumble, mistake, Smith, Snap, Goal. Uh oh. It's happening.

3 minutes later I knew we were done and the score was only 7-0. 4 minutes into a ******* home Prelim and I knew we weren't winning. You could tell straight away. Waltzed it out of the middle with ease. Tackled hard. Our players fumbled, mumbled, bumbled, dropped, fell over, kicked to them.

Then 5 minutes after that we were 4 goals down. But then we have our chances. And surprise surprise what did we see? The same thing we always do.

Boak - Misses a 'sh*t we need this' set shot once again.
Dixon - What the fu** are you doing? Why are you trying to snap from there? Kick. *******. Straight.
Gray - Out on the full. Well we're definitely cooked now.

What followed for about 30 minutes after that was just disgraceful. No other words to put it. No beating around the bush. Pathetic. Insipid. Epic ******* Choke. Bigger choke than the 03 QF. Bigger choke than the 07 GF. Bigger choke than the 02 QF. 7 goals to 1 at 1/4 time. Speechless. I was literally sitting there speechless.

A lot of players need the ******* riot act.

DBJ has had a shitful year this year. Shitful. He was worse than shitful tonight. Jogging around like a muppet. Put him up for trade.

I want my Dan Houston back. The one that was safe as houses and was happy to put his body on the line. His first 6 weeks were great, then he's been crap. At the moment he's scared of his own shadow and plays that way. Was terrible in the first half tonight. Terrible.

Rozee. Has had a pretty good year, but for fu** sake, if he ******* gets the ball and takes the weak way out by just handballing behind him again i'm gonna lose my mind. Take the ******* game on. STOP HANDBALLING BEHIND YOU EVERYTIME YOU GET THE ******* BALL. Bailey Smith tears the sh*t out of two finals and if they win the whole thing will be revered as a legend. Thats where you need to get to Rozee. Where were you tonight? Where where you? Fumbly, scared to get the ball, scared to take the game on and kicked like he had no clue. You could tell too. Watching him after his disposal, he knew he was choking.

Motlop, Congrats on your career. Next.

Wines, another fail in a big game.

Boak, another fail in a big game.

Jonas, another fail in a big game. Mitch Hannan ffs.

Aliir, outstanding year, but he choked big time with ball in hand tonight.

Durrsma, you need to do more. DO MORE.

One of my kids was crying in the third quarter. Devastated.

Make changes Port. Make the changes.
Click to expand...
What changes would you make Macca?
 
I was worried looking at their body language in the room before the game. Looked really nervous but still couldn't imagine they would be so, so poor. Worst game in over two years by a long way. No ability to defend the fast bulldog contested game, and spread, overlap run around the boundary line. We were a 5th/6th best team, but tonight we looked bottom 4. None of the kids were on

Boak - over tries and loses composure. Cant kick goals 5/10
Wines - similar but in our best 6/10
Jonas - average 5/10
Allir - choked it, - shit turnovers 3/10
McKenzie - average 5/10
DBJ - dismal 1/10
Burton - Ok 5/10
Bergman - tried hard ok 5/10
Amon - can't remember anything good - scrubber kicks 4/10
Duursma - insight 3/10
Rozze- no composure 3/10
Fantasia - poor night 3/10
Butters - choked it 3/10
Dixon - is cooked - 3/10
Motlop - terrible 1/10
Gray - average 5/10
Marshall - average - will always be 3rd forward 5/10
Lyccet- average 5/10
Houston - tried hard 5/10

When the whole team plays so poorly - it has to be something about mental preparation. Our ball movement going forward was horrible, we lost all of the rhythm that wed gained in recent weeks, no decent run off half back, no confidence with quick overlaps. 15 days off and forgot how to football
 

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KenGaveUsWhatHeDeserved said:
Todd Marshall sucked all the energy Momentum we had there by being predictably too close to the man on the mark.

Once we lost that that moment had gone
Click to expand...

Even if that stood we were still 40 points down. Huge margin to try and overcome. Was false hope at best.
 
KenGaveUsWhatHeDeserved said:
solid review

Hinkley is a graveyard coach. a dementor

Get out Bergman, Georgiadis and Drew he will torch you like Rozee and Dursmar have tanked.

DBJ what an unspid year. Aliir will go backwards next year.

Ken destroys developing players
Click to expand...

Liked for “unspid”. It sounds as bad as it is :(


On iPhone using recycled electrons, via BigFooty.com mobile app
 
Macca19 said:
Even if that stood we were still 40 points down. Huge margin to try and overcome. Was false hope at best.
Click to expand...

the game was ****ing done in the first 10 minutes. its a prelim final. if we were to come back from there we had to rely on the opposing team being shit to have a chance.

you cant give up that sort of head start. literally every player on the list shit their pants and started panicking at non existent pressure that wasnt there.
 
It Just Is said:
Jonas being unable to play on any size or shape has been a problem for years.
Click to expand...

This x plenty, Jonas is all C grade huff and puff with a supercilious grin on his face, he is not a genuine AFL defender's rear end, and if they had a prize for the least skilled AFL captain he would win it comfortably, he makes Dom Cassisi look like prime Russell Ebert.
 
Macca19 said:
50 seconds in. Instant clearance against, sh*t defending, fumble, mistake, Smith, Snap, Goal. Uh oh. It's happening.

3 minutes later I knew we were done and the score was only 7-0. 4 minutes into a ******* home Prelim and I knew we weren't winning. You could tell straight away. Waltzed it out of the middle with ease. Tackled hard. Our players fumbled, mumbled, bumbled, dropped, fell over, kicked to them.
Click to expand...

How does a side capable of 18 wins on the season constantly serve up this sh¡t all the time? All the time.

Started in similar fashion against horrendous Carlton and Adelaide outfits as well.

Where’s the learnings™? Where’s the improvement? Why does it keep happening, especially with the Supercoach5000 bolted into the coaches box going on 9 seasons?
 

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Macca19 said:
50 seconds in. Instant clearance against, sh*t defending, fumble, mistake, Smith, Snap, Goal. Uh oh. It's happening.

3 minutes later I knew we were done and the score was only 7-0. 4 minutes into a ******* home Prelim and I knew we weren't winning. You could tell straight away. Waltzed it out of the middle with ease. Tackled hard. Our players fumbled, mumbled, bumbled, dropped, fell over, kicked to them.

Then 5 minutes after that we were 4 goals down. But then we have our chances. And surprise surprise what did we see? The same thing we always do.

Boak - Misses a 'sh*t we need this' set shot once again.
Dixon - What the fu** are you doing? Why are you trying to snap from there? Kick. *******. Straight.
Gray - Out on the full. Well we're definitely cooked now.

What followed for about 30 minutes after that was just disgraceful. No other words to put it. No beating around the bush. Pathetic. Insipid. Epic ******* Choke. Bigger choke than the 03 QF. Bigger choke than the 07 GF. Bigger choke than the 02 QF. 7 goals to 1 at 1/4 time. Speechless. I was literally sitting there speechless.

A lot of players need the ******* riot act.

DBJ has had a shitful year this year. Shitful. He was worse than shitful tonight. Jogging around like a muppet. Put him up for trade.

I want my Dan Houston back. The one that was safe as houses and was happy to put his body on the line. His first 6 weeks were great, then he's been crap. At the moment he's scared of his own shadow and plays that way. Was terrible in the first half tonight. Terrible.

Rozee. Has had a pretty good year, but for fu** sake, if he ******* gets the ball and takes the weak way out by just handballing behind him again i'm gonna lose my mind. Take the ******* game on. STOP HANDBALLING BEHIND YOU EVERYTIME YOU GET THE ******* BALL. Bailey Smith tears the sh*t out of two finals and if they win the whole thing will be revered as a legend. Thats where you need to get to Rozee. Where were you tonight? Where where you? Fumbly, scared to get the ball, scared to take the game on and kicked like he had no clue. You could tell too. Watching him after his disposal, he knew he was choking.

Motlop, Congrats on your career. Next.

Wines, another fail in a big game.

Boak, another fail in a big game.

Jonas, another fail in a big game. Mitch Hannan ffs.

Aliir, outstanding year, but he choked big time with ball in hand tonight.

Durrsma, you need to do more. DO MORE.

One of my kids was crying in the third quarter. Devastated.

Make changes Port. Make the changes.
Click to expand...

Excellent post, we knew we were f****** after 10 minutes because we have seen it all before, no plan B no composure no intensity and the mental strength of a nit.
 
1954 said:
This x plenty, Jonas is all C grade huff and puff with a supercilious grin on his face, he is not a genuine AFL defender's rear end, and if they had a prize for the least skilled AFL captain he would win it comfortably, he makes Dom Cassisi look like prime Russell Ebert.
Click to expand...

just about every player on the list shit their dacks in epic style. you can't really single out a single bad performance because they were all ****ing awful.

although i suppose its worse for the players you know can actually do better.
 
KenGaveUsWhatHeDeserved said:
Todd Marshall sucked all the energy Momentum we had there by being predictably too close to the man on the mark.

Once we lost that that moment had gone
Click to expand...
Give it a ****ing rest. The game was gone by then.

We were down 44-7 at 1/4 time, we'd handed the Dogs barometer a free hit at the start, and thus we got them going before we knew what happening.

In no way is that touched goal a "turning point" or a crucial moment. We were 37 points down at 1/4 time, 58 down at half time. It was over. The crucial moments had been decided well and truly by then.

Blame the senior players, they were to mentally weak, and failed again.

Blame the coaches Hinkley obviously, but include Bassett, Voss, Montgomery & Schofield in it as well, they failed to.

But it wasn't Marshall's fault, by that stage we were shifting deck chairs on the Titanic. At some point the view may have looked good, but by then we were sunk and season 2021 ended up in the North Atlantic
 
I’ll volunteer my changes

Besides the obvious coaching change..

Motlop gone.

Hartlett gone

Wines captain.

Jonas gets told we pick on form.

Lycett gets told this off-season that hayes gets a crack at his spot and lycett needs to beat him for it. And any game lycett loses the 1st Qtr to a ruck who isn’t an all-aus contender he loses his spot. **** his showing up at half time bullshit.

Houston gets moved to his old more accountable half back position instead of this weird loose half -back / sweeping mid position.

Dbj gets floated on the trade table and told that no one really is that interested and next year Jones starts instead of him until he wins his spot back.

We never ever not pick all three of Georgiades Dixon and marshall again (when fit) unless they go off the rails mentally. They’re a tripod and when you remove one leg we go to complete shit.

Spp plays midfield or we trade him.

At least one of rozee butters or Bergman play midfield nearly fulltime next year. We’ve got too many sluggish slow types and need someone creative who can take the ball out of a contest.

Whichever dumb campaigner is teaching our forwards to kick should be thrown off a cliff.

The lot of them were renowned as safe kicks before coming here. Dixon at gcs. Marshall pre-draft. Ladhams gets worse every week. Everyone takes shorter and shorter run ups almost on a weekly basis. It’s plagued Marshall this year. Dixon used to take normal run ups at the suns but here often takes short run ups. Ladhams started so close to the man tonight that he took 3 steps and went to the side and kicked around the man on the mark. It’s ****ing bizarre. Our defenders go back further from the mark when they take a mark in defense, which is baffling.

If we made them split the difference between Ben browns 50m run ups, and their 5m run ups we might get something useable.
 
We're just a choker club, plain and simple. It's hard to even blame the current players and coaches, this is a legacy and culture that has been passed through the generations and arrived with them as its current custodians. In the future, it will be a different set of players and coaches.

This club has a massive problem with pressure and expectation. The greater the pressure and expectation, the worse the performance. You can set your watch to the next 'shock, upset, backs against the wall' opposition win at the Oval. You can set your watch to the next home final meltdown. You can set your watch to the next failure to make the finals after being rated a pre season premiership fancy. Equally of course you can set your watch to the next heroic away win, the next year where we storm out of the bottom 10 as an unfancied battler team and into premiership contention within 12 months - it's all part of the same pressure and expectation cycle.

That first half took me back to the first half against Sydney in the 2003 qualifying final. A total and complete mental meltdown against a team that had absolutely no right to bully us like that on our own home turf. No resistance offered, no leaders standing up and saying 'not on my watch'. A total failure and indictment on the very soul of the football club.

This club will NEVER win a premiership until there is a complete paradigm shift in its identity and culture. The whole place needs to be tipped upside down, the whole attitude and personality of the club needs to be binned and started fresh. I'm not going to pretend to know how to do this. Unfortunately, the choker culture has already infected the current crop of players and it's hard to see the likes of Rozee, Butters, Duursma, etc, ever winning a premiership - they're only third year players and already have two humiliating home prelim final chokes under their belts that will follow them for the rest of their careers.

I'm despondent and don't have any answers. I think this loss will haunt the club for quite some time and don't expect to see finals again for at least a few years. There is an inevitable rebuild on the horizon. It shatters me that we could've and maybe should've won the flag last year in our 150th year and failed to do so. We will look back on that in the years to come and rue that missed opportunity.
 
Last edited:
Koch gone
Ken Gone
Voss Gone
Schofield Gone

Thats my first 4 changes.
 

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Autopsy Port versus an actual football team

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