What is the funniest thing you have heard said/shouted at the footy?

[Quadzilla]

Heading out of the 'G' after the 04GF pretty happy and going over to Punt Road for the after-match stuff, a guy who announced he was a Collingwood supporter thanked my team for halting the Lions going 4-in-a-row. That woulda matched the VFL/AFL record of Pies.

I replied "i just knew there was something bad about our win!!!" He wasn't a happy camper.

 

[Hencho]

When Dale Thomas gets the ball I like "quick Daisy...fix you're hair...you're on tv"

 

[Smaaart]

At a Geelong v North game in the mid 90's at Kardinia Park :
As Mick Martyn was picking up the ball from near the fence after a point had just been kicked :
"Stay away from the fence Mick, you're scaring all the kids!"

I had a similar one from a game many a year ago but substitute Martyn for Mil Hanna: "Get off the ground Hanna, you're scaring the kids". He was a weird looking dude.

One that makes me laugh most weeks is that my gran always pronounces "Koschitzke" as "Kazinski", pretty hilarious when she's giving him a spray for being lazy etc and a few people in the immediate area turn around and wonder which year we drafted Kazinski. Probably cause she might be senile.

 

[strategy]

Carlton are the greatest footy club .

Q) What do you call a Carlton footballer at the Grand Final ?

A ) A spectator

 

[bigboyblue]

Not hilarious by any stretch, but pretty funny for those involved - a couple of years ago I was with some mates who'd just moved to Melbourne and were trying really hard to get into the footy after years of following rugby league (they've since found their place and are actually pretty knowledgeable Hawks fans now).

Anyway, it was their third or fourth game and and they were yet to see a "deliberate" call paid, but had heard people asking for it and I'd explained what it meant.

Hawks were playing Essendon and a bombers bloke rushed the ball out of bounds. There was no way the umps would pay deliberate so nobody else asked, but my mate, trying hard to look the part, stood up and screamed "on purpose!!!". Nobody had any idea what he was talking about, and when he explained his case I pissed myself, as did the other people around us. He was, needless to say, a little sheepish.

On the same day, my other mate was making a nondescript "ooooohhhhh" noise whenever someone got tackled. I asked what the hell he was doing, and he said he thought that's what you did. After a little digging, i gathered he'd misunderstood the crowd's cries of "ball"...

 

[jswan]

i remember going to a swans vs Essendon game in either 1991-1992, it was the dark old days when we lost 28 games in a row and were beyond crap, we had a year or two earlier acquired the services of Michael Werner from Essendon, not a star, but not the worst player ever to play the game. Anyway, it was the 3rd or 4th quarter, bombers were well ahead, Werner gets the ball, baulks a couple of players amd disposes of it, a bombers fan behind me sarcastically yells out..." whats that? who's this?, its game turner Werner!!!". My friends and I laugh to this day over that comment.

 

[fpm84]

At a game at Skilled Stadium earlier this season (think it was v North) a guy a few rows behind me was abusing the umpires all afternoon - "that is NOT a push in the back, you muppet!" etc.

It went on for about three quarters - every decision that went against us he'd yell and scream.

Late in the third quarter, when we were defending at the end we sit at, the umpire stopped play and blew his whistle. Assuming it was a shot at goal to the opposition, the guy stood up and absolutely went crazy before we realised the free kick was to Scarlett. Everyone turned to look at him and, still standing, he stood embarrassed for a few seconds before yelling "... YOU'RE LUCKY, UMP!"

Raised a lot of laughs in our bay.

 

[winty]

I remember a game against the Bulldogs at the Dome in 2007. About 2 minutes in, this guy behind me yells out "Good one Ablett, you ****!" A few minutes later, he yells out "Chapman, you bald *****!" This goes on for the rest of the quarter. Second quarter starts, and this guy's still hurling obscenities at Geelong players, so I turn around to look to see who's yelling out this crap. Turns out it was a fellow Geelong supporter.

 

[stanley86]

we used to go to a lot of freo games at subi just to have a laugh and take the mickey, and wasnt a lot of choice of games in perth, and a mate had some pearlers

my all time favourite of his though was to luke macpharlin a few years back when he went through a string of getting bad injuries, broken ribs, a few leg injuries etc, in and out of the team a lot that year .. he comes near the boundary and mate yells out

"hey luke, your playing like a tampon ... in for 1 out for 3"

needless to say, many a tear was shed in laughter

 

[Smaaart]

Not hilarious by any stretch, but pretty funny for those involved - a couple of years ago I was with some mates who'd just moved to Melbourne and were trying really hard to get into the footy after years of following rugby league (they've since found their place and are actually pretty knowledgeable Hawks fans now).

Anyway, it was their third or fourth game and and they were yet to see a "deliberate" call paid, but had heard people asking for it and I'd explained what it meant.

Hawks were playing Essendon and a bombers bloke rushed the ball out of bounds. There was no way the umps would pay deliberate so nobody else asked, but my mate, trying hard to look the part, stood up and screamed "on purpose!!!". Nobody had any idea what he was talking about, and when he explained his case I pissed myself, as did the other people around us. He was, needless to say, a little sheepish.

On the same day, my other mate was making a nondescript "ooooohhhhh" noise whenever someone got tackled. I asked what the hell he was doing, and he said he thought that's what you did. After a little digging, i gathered he'd misunderstood the crowd's cries of "ball"...

I wouldn't sell that 'on purpose' story short, that is very, very funny.

 

[Supermercado]

I recall a game between the Crows and Geelong down at Kardinia Park a few years ago and not 30 seconds into the game an Adelaide player has a free paid against him for holding the man. Some bloke yells out 'He's been doin' it all day ump!"....

Terrible angle when somebody does that deliberately and thinks they're being original. See also the ********s who yell "YELLOW MAGGOT" and then look around expecting to get plaudits from the crowd.

On a completely separate note I was sitting next to a guy at the Melbourne/Richmond game this year who had lost his rag completely and spent the whole game making comedy statements about Terry Wallace. The best was when he started singing a new version of the club song - I wish I remembered the rest but it started with

"IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!
WE'LL PUT TERRY IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!"

Didn't quite scan but was hillarious at the time given we were killing them. Then during the massive comeback when Richo kicked a goal to go to 799 he turns around and yells "IS THAT 800? I'M GOING TO RUN ON, I DON'T CARE IF THEY SHOOT ME. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE" Then when somebody told him there he was 1 short he sat down and went "Thank god for that, I nearly died for nothing".

Similarly when we played North in 2004 halfway through the first quarter one of their insane fans who I see all the time walks down the stairs, towards the exit screaming "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE" at the top of his voice. North were 7 points in front at the time. After the game he was seen sitting in the playground at the Jolimont Station end of the car park cooking on a portable BBQ.

 

[sportsmaniac89]

Friday night and Melbourne were playing Essendon. Jack Watts had just taken a mark and was having a shot at goal.

Some Essendon fan yelled "Hit the road Jack"

Needless to say, he slotted the goal. It wasn't as funny as some in this thread but at the time, it got a smile out of me

 

[Kings Army]

I was at the Ess V Blues 99 Prelim with a mate who supports the Blues. Not much hope given to the Blues!!

Anyway - we had a couple sitting in front us - the chick was Essendon and the bloke a Blues supporter. From the start of the game the chick did not shut up - every umpire decision she was argue - every time Blues did something good she would mock them. Did not hear a word from the bloke all day.

The game was a cracker and when the siren went both we both jumped up and accidently split beer on the chick. The chick turns to her partner and tells him that she is covered in beer and he needs to do someting about it. He just looks at her and says "do something yourself - the BLUES are into another one!!" and he started high fiving us.

 

[The King of Leon]

I was saying Boo-urns

Haha, at his 250th against Hawthorn last year when we ran out onto the ground heaps of Hawthorn supporters started booing. My brother turned to me and said " Are they booing Scott Burns?" to which I replied " I was saying Boo-urns"

 

[L_J_T]

Whenever we are at a game and Steven Milne is playing, my mates and I shout out:


SHE WANTED IT MILNEY.

 

[The King of Leon]

Haha good read this thread.

At the Queens Birthday game about 3-4 years ago with about eight mates. We were surrounded by Collingwood supporters and we kept hearing "Deliberate!" "BALL!" "DELIBERATE!" Typical Pies supporters begging the umps for a free.

Come the last quarter and having heard these Collingwood fans around us yell "Deliberate" seventy odd times during the game, Tarkyn Lockyer had a shot at goal and missed the lot - ball bounced over the boundary line... I stood up and yelled, "DELIBERATE!"... Fair to say I got quite a few laughs.

2007 Pies vs Dogs... Rocca lining up for a goal from thirty out... The old bloke yelled, "You have a fat ass, Rocca - too much pasta" just before he kicked... he totally shanked it. Got a few laughs and cheers.

I'm sure supporters of every side do this, well maybe not yours as no-one turns up to watch your mob.

 

[Wonaeamirri33]

I'm sure supporters of every side do this, well maybe not yours as no-one turns up to watch your mob.

 

[OB1]

A few years back when we had the legionnaires disease scare in Melbourne "Mcleod, makes sure you visit the Aquarium while you're in town."

"Hey Sav, if you & Pebbles mate with the Williams sisters will we find the missing link?"

 

[winty]

The week after we thrashed the Tigers at the Dome in 2007, we were playing the Eagles at Skilled Stadium, and I struck up a conversation with the guy next to me before the game started, and were talking about the demolition the week before. The guy told me it wasn't a good night for him and I asked why. He then told me he was sitting in a corporate box, and decided before the game that he'd have a bourbon everytime Geelong scored a goal. Needless to say, he was absolutely wasted by half time!

 

[krisholio14]

The week after we thrashed the Tigers at the Dome in 2007, we were playing the Eagles at Skilled Stadium, and I struck up a conversation with the guy next to me before the game started, and were talking about the demolition the week before. The guy told me it wasn't a good night for him and I asked why. He then told me he was sitting in a corporate box, and decided before the game that he'd have a bourbon everytime Geelong scored a goal. Needless to say, he was absolutely wasted by half time!

That's funny.

I've played drinking games when we've kicked 20 goals before, but 30 plus

.....it also gets quite costly too

 

[Supermercado]

I was at the Ess V Blues 99 Prelim with a mate who supports the Blues. Not much hope given to the Blues!!

Anyway - we had a couple sitting in front us - the chick was Essendon and the bloke a Blues supporter. From the start of the game the chick did not shut up - every umpire decision she was argue - every time Blues did something good she would mock them. Did not hear a word from the bloke all day.

The game was a cracker and when the siren went both we both jumped up and accidently split beer on the chick. The chick turns to her partner and tells him that she is covered in beer and he needs to do someting about it. He just looks at her and says "do something yourself - the BLUES are into another one!!" and he started high fiving us.

That's classic. Grand final > birds.

Didn't take her along to the Blues post-granny party the next week by any chance?

 

[scooterb]

When Pav was taking a set shot some male fan screamed "Pavlich you are a very attractive man" Pav missed badly.

These kinds of posts make me cringe. It's almost as if you're implying that Pav missed because that guy yelled out to him.

The call I remember the best is probably when I went to West Coast vs Melbourne at the MCG.

Phil Matera had kicked 4 goals in one of the quarters and he was destroying Matthew Whelan. All of a sudden, a Melbourne supporter behind me shouts out:

"For ****'s sake Wrecker! Troy Broadbridge could do a better job you ********!"

The crowd response was varied...

 

[zigskillz]

for some reason i always laugh at the "get a hair cut" call to bald players/umpires

 

[Desmodromico]

I was at a Weagles v Carlton game at the WACA in the late 1980's when Dale Kickett was playing for the Weagles. We were sitting on the wing in front of the Prendiville Stand five rows from the boundry.

Dale had the ball right in front of us and was under preasure. One of my dad's mates a few rows back yells in a booming voice, "Kick it handpass. Handpass it Kickett."

 

[Spluff]

Ottens was hitting his straps for Geelong and was resting at full forward at the city end of skilled stadium and slots a pretty simple goal. Some guy from the crowd goes GO BACK TO RICHMOND, OTTO! from the back of the ablett terrace. Just about everyone in the stand screwed up their face like : to which he replies "I'm a Richmond supporter!"
haha

Small world.