Analysis Whipping Boys - 2022 edition

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Whipping Boy - Wayne Carey.

Obviously some sly coaching going on from Carey with "The Madge",,,,, "The Madge" now wants to be referred to as "The King V2", having been named at CHF for this weeks game.

The King V2 (previously just known as "The Madge"), has just updated his profile on the Collingwood website:

PROFILE

Full Name: WAYNE THE MADGE CAREY
D.O.B.: 25/04/93
Star Sign: Aries

Residence: Melbourne, Victoria

Occupation: Attempted Professional Footballer

Football Debut: 2018
Position: Centre Half forward
Guernsey Number: 44
Football Club: On a week to week basis, plays for the other 17 opposition teams
Coach: Fly

Height: 192 cm
Weight: 94 kg

Fave Sports Star: Wayne Carey - I base my game on The King
Fave CD: The Fool On The Hill
Fave Movie: Rain Man
Fave TV Show: Extreme Makeover (wishing that I could get one for my footy)
Fave Sandwich: Anything that is bland
Fave Place: Hiding in the corner at the Medical Center, to see who is injured this week

A Talent You Wish You Had: To be able to play football well.
Your Dream Car: I can't drive (or play football)
What do you always have in your pockets? "The Collingwood updated injury list, to see if I am still playing next week"
Your 3 most precious possessions: My Football Talent, My Goal of the Year against GWS, and the AFL Collinwood Website stating that I am becoming a lock in the side's best 22 due to my versatility.

FOOTBALL STATS

Career Games: 45
Worst On Ground: 45
Career Goals: 1


PLAYER HONOURS

2018 - 2022 Big Footy Whipping Boy Specialist
 
jaffa23 said:
Whipping Boy - Wayne Carey.

Obviously some sly coaching going on from Carey with "The Madge",,,,, "The Madge" now wants to be referred to as "The King V2", having been named at CHF for this weeks game.

The King V2 (previously just known as "The Madge"), has just updated his profile on the Collingwood website:

PROFILE

Full Name: WAYNE THE MADGE CAREY
D.O.B.: 25/04/93
Star Sign: Aries

Residence: Melbourne, Victoria

Occupation: Attempted Professional Footballer

Football Debut: 2018
Position: Centre Half forward
Guernsey Number: 44
Football Club: On a week to week basis, plays for the other 17 opposition teams
Coach: Fly

Height: 192 cm
Weight: 94 kg

Fave Sports Star: Wayne Carey - I base my game on The King
Fave CD: The Fool On The Hill
Fave Movie: Rain Man
Fave TV Show: Extreme Makeover (wishing that I could get one for my footy)
Fave Sandwich: Anything that is bland
Fave Place: Hiding in the corner at the Medical Center, to see who is injured this week

A Talent You Wish You Had: To be able to play football well.
Your Dream Car: I can't drive (or play football)
What do you always have in your pockets? "The Collingwood updated injury list, to see if I am still playing next week"
Your 3 most precious possessions: My Football Talent, My Goal of the Year against GWS, and the AFL Collinwood Website stating that I am becoming a lock in the side's best 22 due to my versatility.

FOOTBALL STATS

Career Games: 45
Worst On Ground: 45
Career Goals: 1


PLAYER HONOURS

2018 - 2022 Big Footy Whipping Boy Specialist
Click to expand...

I beg to differ. He's played a fair few of his games with Mason Cox and Callum Brown, so he's only been Worst on Ground (WOG) in 29 of his 45 games.
 
"since i've become a star CHF, I've got a footy groupie". Nah just kidding, this is a pic of the Madge getting romantic with the love of his life..

4828e2bd4cf80b11db40ea0f379e6422aa3ad3a3.jpg
 

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jaffa23 said:
Whipping Boy - Wayne Carey.

Obviously some sly coaching going on from Carey with "The Madge",,,,, "The Madge" now wants to be referred to as "The King V2", having been named at CHF for this weeks game.

The King V2 (previously just known as "The Madge"), has just updated his profile on the Collingwood website:

PROFILE

Full Name: WAYNE THE MADGE CAREY
D.O.B.: 25/04/93
Star Sign: Aries

Residence: Melbourne, Victoria

Occupation: Attempted Professional Footballer

Football Debut: 2018
Position: Centre Half forward
Guernsey Number: 44
Football Club: On a week to week basis, plays for the other 17 opposition teams
Coach: Fly

Height: 192 cm
Weight: 94 kg

Fave Sports Star: Wayne Carey - I base my game on The King
Fave CD: The Fool On The Hill
Fave Movie: Rain Man
Fave TV Show: Extreme Makeover (wishing that I could get one for my footy)
Fave Sandwich: Anything that is bland
Fave Place: Hiding in the corner at the Medical Center, to see who is injured this week

A Talent You Wish You Had: To be able to play football well.
Your Dream Car: I can't drive (or play football)
What do you always have in your pockets? "The Collingwood updated injury list, to see if I am still playing next week"
Your 3 most precious possessions: My Football Talent, My Goal of the Year against GWS, and the AFL Collinwood Website stating that I am becoming a lock in the side's best 22 due to my versatility.

FOOTBALL STATS

Career Games: 45
Worst On Ground: 45
Career Goals: 1


PLAYER HONOURS

2018 - 2022 Big Footy Whipping Boy Specialist
Click to expand...

Thank you for introducing Wayne Carey into this thread. Its been a big week for my favourites in this forum. Mick Malthouse has had a bit of coverage. Now we have us some Wayne Carey. I wonder who's next. Putin?
 
i'm not sure how to view mcrae after this week. I have a feeling that he has a sadistic sense of humour. Mick is on WA radio on saturday mornings and sometimes I drive down to the local bakery with the radio on. I've never made it to the bakery without turning the radio off.....and its about 200 metres down the road...
 
Markfs said:
i'm not sure how to view mcrae after this week. I have a feeling that he has a sadistic sense of humour. Mick is on WA radio on saturday mornings and sometimes I drive down to the local bakery with the radio on. I've never made it to the bakery without turning the radio off.....and its about 200 metres down the road...
Click to expand...
Making them listen to Mick might be McRae's way of whipping them for being spuds who've lost 3 on the trot.
 
Markfs said:
i went to bed last night worry about the brown revenge and the three kids doing their best to destroy our club..

and i thought about kelly and his father craig. With craig's mate getting the flick, what has he got planned for his son to extract his revenge? Currently Will is doing absolutely nothing in the VFL, but for how long? What if he gets to the seniors? I know it wont be because of form but his old man has probably got something on the holy trinity in charge of the footy dept. And what will Will do if he is playing in a final??? Think about that...

we need to cut the diseased limb off before it kills us..
Click to expand...
It's all about positive thinking.
Will Will will Will's own return to the seniors, or will Will just lose his will?
 
Gabbo64 said:
It's all about positive thinking.
Will Will will Will's own return to the seniors, or will Will just lose his will?
Click to expand...

evidently craig was happy that his eldest got a gig with the crows and then put the hard word on the pies for a spot when he realised that the Will is a wont.
 
sr36 said:
Making them listen to Mick might be McRae's way of whipping them for being spuds who've lost 3 on the trot.
Click to expand...

Mick these days sounds more like a cross between joe biden and trump.... the worst of both. evidently, the ABC is paid NDIS funding to put him on the radio
 
Markfs said:
Mick these days sounds more like a cross between joe biden and trump.... the worst of both. evidently, the ABC is paid NDIS funding to put him on the radio
Click to expand...

I’m hoping Mick will get a gig commentating on the AFLW. He’s been such a supporter of women’s footy. I really feel that his insights and his wise world view are missing from the prism through which we watch the girls.
 
Last edited:
Vicky Park said:
I’m hoping Mick will get a gig commentating on the AFLW. He’s been such a supporter of women’s footy. I really feel that his insights and his wise world view is missing from the prism through which we watch the girls.
Click to expand...

some time in the future it will be proved that women arent built for tuff stuff like afl.... they should stick to childbirth
 
Markfs said:
i'm not sure how to view mcrae after this week. I have a feeling that he has a sadistic sense of humour. Mick is on WA radio on saturday mornings and sometimes I drive down to the local bakery with the radio on. I've never made it to the bakery without turning the radio off.....and its about 200 metres down the road...
Click to expand...
I’m not shocked at the short distance required to turn him off.
More that you drive there.
Apologies upfront if it’s for health reasons.
 

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With Cox out, the whipping now shifts to more than a few for the biggest game in the club's calendar. As these brave men go and show why they're lucky to have been drafted to a sports team and not Vietnam, there will be a few who'll suffer a whipping. Here is the list of contenders.

Jack Madgen may be needing to a see a dermatologist and skin surgeon should he fail to perform at CHF. Having performed optimally at CHB, B, and most other positions bar a GOTY contender from the wing, Madgen is in fine form for a whipping. Inside word is that he's an outside chance for the famous medal, although pundits are unsure.

Brodie Grundy, now no longer a top five ruckman, is another player who should be on watch. He has been in fine form for a $1 million player and is in-line for his game of the season. A former fantasy pig, now turned to bacon, he no longer has Chris Mayne to protect him. Just as the three little pigs tell us, the big bad wolf of Sam Draper is likely to huff and puff his large 202cm frame down. Unless he manages to take a mark, kick a goal and have 50 hitouts, he is likely to find himself flogged.

We move now to others who should find themselves in the best. Praise must be given to Steele Sidebottom, who is sometimes the star but otherwise matter that Stephen Hawking used to be able to identify for us but no longer can. We assume it's something in space. A bad flogging could see him forced out of the game or into aged care at Kardinia Park. Darcy Moore, the CHB, also CHF, could be show why he's not worth the $900k contract and thus earn a good whipping. And last but not least is WHE, whose back has been saved by Grundy and Madgen. A childhood supporter, the tissues may well come out if Collingwood lose and he plays poorly.

And it seems that being on the list is no longer a requisite for the flogging conversation with perineal dinosaur and controversial grandfather, Mick Malthouse another to be in line for a good flogging should his comments about war land on a board.

Expert tip: For me, it has to be Grundy. Jack Madgen is a cult figure at the club and has odds of 151 to win the ANZAC Medal. Obviously, at that stretch, he should be relied upon to claim the medal. Sidey has a proven track record on the day, Moore can always swing forward and WHE ... he's not on a million is he? For any flogsters looking to pick up a whip or hit the keys, remove Grundy from your fantasy team and let the non-gendered violence of flogging bad players begin.
 
i feel that monday will mark a transition.... i think reality might set in. The bombers are a herd of spineless strung-out ex-druggies who have been stringing along their fans for the last decade. If we can't beat them on monday, the reality will set in that the dive is going to be very very deep. We're laughing at this whipping crap now but it's about to get serious.... we may hear our first call for clarko in 2022.
 
I know he is not one of ours. But I’ll give this Whipping Boy thing a crack.

Fatso Sean Darcy from Freo really needs to lose some weight. I mean really, how much better could he be if he stopped eating all that KFC and Maccas.

Today for instance in only 78 mins of football. He had 12 disposals 6 marks 3 tackles and 24 hit outs. And managed to do all this with almost a 70% efficiency.

Along with 4 intercept possessions and kicking 1.1.

His team only won by 6 goals. They should have and could have won by more.

At only 203cm and weighing 110kg. He could do with some weight loss. Imagine if he was a Vegan how good he could be.

Lucky he’s not our Ruck. Image the crap he’d cop if he performed like that for us. And we expect our rucks to play more than just 78mins.

How’s this for my first attempt…..

Be kind.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Wearmouth said:
I know he is not one of ours. But I’ll give this Whipping Boy thing a crack.

Fatso Sean Darcy from Freo really needs to lose some weight. I mean really, how much better could he be if he stopped eating all that KFC and Maccas.

Today for instance in only 78 mins of football. He had 12 disposals 6 marks 3 tackles and 24 hit outs. And managed to do all this with almost a 70% efficiency.

Along with 4 intercept possessions and kicking 1.1.

His team only won by 6 goals. They should have and could have won by more.

At only 203cm and weighing 110kg. He could do with some weight loss. Imagine if he was a Vegan how good he could be.

Lucky he’s not our Ruck. Image the crap he’d cop if he performed like that for us. And we expect our rucks to play more than just 78mins.

How’s this for my first attempt…..

Be kind.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
Good start, but not enough bile and you need too whip Grundy more overtly.

Something like:

That fat, Maccas-eating, beer-drinking, Freo knob is twice the ruckman and five times the man as our useless, million-dollar, latte-sipping, kale-eating, man-bun sporting, Brunswick St peaheart.
 
Wearmouth said:
I know he is not one of ours. But I’ll give this Whipping Boy thing a crack.

Fatso Sean Darcy from Freo really needs to lose some weight. I mean really, how much better could he be if he stopped eating all that KFC and Maccas.

Today for instance in only 78 mins of football. He had 12 disposals 6 marks 3 tackles and 24 hit outs. And managed to do all this with almost a 70% efficiency.

Along with 4 intercept possessions and kicking 1.1.

His team only won by 6 goals. They should have and could have won by more.

At only 203cm and weighing 110kg. He could do with some weight loss. Imagine if he was a Vegan how good he could be.

Lucky he’s not our Ruck. Image the crap he’d cop if he performed like that for us. And we expect our rucks to play more than just 78mins.

How’s this for my first attempt…..

Be kind.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

lame half-assed attempt.... put some effort in...

also i think there's a man-bun or two in the freo team. Why wouldn't you cut loose on those wimps? That useless full forward of theirs is so gutless, it's a wonder why they play him. And that superwimp rory loob...what a spineless piece of rat dung he is..

so while the ruckman is an ok target, personally i wouldnt go after him. He looks pretty normal. He looks kind of stupid but in a way that he'd stand there and take a punch because he's too stupid to duck.... that kind of stupid... which is ok really. A lot better to be stupid like that than be an uppity pretentious yuppie trendy on a long term million dollar contract if you get my drift...
 
Wearmouth said:
I know he is not one of ours. But I’ll give this Whipping Boy thing a crack.

Fatso Sean Darcy from Freo really needs to lose some weight. I mean really, how much better could he be if he stopped eating all that KFC and Maccas.

Today for instance in only 78 mins of football. He had 12 disposals 6 marks 3 tackles and 24 hit outs. And managed to do all this with almost a 70% efficiency.

Along with 4 intercept possessions and kicking 1.1.

His team only won by 6 goals. They should have and could have won by more.

At only 203cm and weighing 110kg. He could do with some weight loss. Imagine if he was a Vegan how good he could be.

Lucky he’s not our Ruck. Image the crap he’d cop if he performed like that for us. And we expect our rucks to play more than just 78mins.

How’s this for my first attempt…..

Be kind.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

oh yeh... the crack about the stats.... well darcy is probably getting paid $10K a kick..... while our show-pony is probably on about $100K...

so who are the dumb-asses now?
 
Markfs said:
i'm not sure how to view mcrae after this week. I have a feeling that he has a sadistic sense of humour. Mick is on WA radio on saturday mornings and sometimes I drive down to the local bakery with the radio on. I've never made it to the bakery without turning the radio off.....and its about 200 metres down the road...
Click to expand...
How could you even last 200 metres! You are a glutton for punishment!
 
Vicky Park said:
I’m hoping Mick will get a gig commentating on the AFLW. He’s been such a supporter of women’s footy. I really feel that his insights and his wise world view are missing from the prism through which we watch the girls.
Click to expand...
They are thinking of naming the medal after him because of his great knowledge of the history of women's rights.
 

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Analysis Whipping Boys - 2022 edition

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