Analysis Whipping Boys - 2022 edition

[Vicky Park]

In Tony Shaws "auto"biography "A Shaw Thing" he recounts his welcome to Collingwood. After his first training session there was a beer at the social club with Stan Magro and Kevin Worthington. The twoder blokes drained their pots, then Wortho bit the top off his glass and Magro smashed his on his own head. They handed Shaw the shards and one said "your shout".

To me thats the standard. Any alcohol related cuts should be from deliberate self inflicted neanderthal behaviour.

Thank you for introducing the phrase ‘Neanderthal behaviour’ into this thread. Although I think the Neanderthals have had a bad press.

At any rate, it’s a nice abusive term and I’m surprised it took so long to get here.

Cheers

 

[Markfs]

Thank you for introducing the phrase ‘Neanderthal behaviour’ into this thread. Although I think the Neanderthals have had a bad press.

At any rate, it’s a nice abusive term and I’m surprised it took so long to get here.

Cheers

I thought he meant it as complimentary...

 

[Cyclops]

Thank you for introducing the phrase ‘Neanderthal behaviour’ into this thread. Although I think the Neanderthals have had a bad press.

At any rate, it’s a nice abusive term and I’m surprised it took so long to get here.

Cheers

As someone with a robust skull, thick wrists and excess body hair I feel myself more representative of our Neanderthal ancestors than most. I would never use it as an insult, rather to describe direct and uncomplicated honesty.

 

[Markfs]

As someone with a robust skull, thick wrists and excess body hair I feel myself more representative of our Neanderthal ancestors than most. I would never use it as an insult, rather to describe direct and uncomplicated honesty.

well we all have some neanderthal in us.... or at least those of us that left africa in the last 60K years.

 

[Cyclops]

well we all have some neanderthal in us.... or at least those of us that left africa in the last 60K years.

Im told there were two admixture events, the Jordan valley and the western european ones (both less than 1% of our DNA) so probably all non African (and some african return migrants eg Ethiopia and lots of North Africa) have a tiny bit.

The pre bronze age European populations had a double dose, so from a line maybe Denmark to Croatia you see a slight increase. Allowing of course for local variation.

Even the 1% is not reflective of population size, so there wasnt a village with 99 Sapiens and 1 Neanderthal, rather the tiny number of interspecies unions gave some mega positive adaptions (not including red hair, which re evolved later, Neanderthal red hair was lost).

Maybe it was Neanderthal strength and durability? They were wide mfs, not super tall but powerful and seemed to heal up from even major injuries.

Its possible the odd dude with the huge engine and unusual power, so your McReery/Maynard/Pickett type could be examples.

Whatever it was they
had a reproductive selection advantage, and their expressed dna in modern population is out of proportion with their tiny numbers as ancestors.

They are still with us, and they are still within us.

Thats what i heard anyway.

 

[Vicky Park]

Im told there were two admixture events, the Jordan valley and the western european ones (both less than 1% of our DNA) so probably all non African (and some african return migrants eg Ethiopia and lots of North Africa) have a tiny bit.

The pre bronze age European populations had a double dose, so from a line maybe Denmark to Croatia you see a slight increase. Allowing of course for local variation.

Even the 1% is not reflective of population size, so there wasnt a village with 99 Sapiens and 1 Neanderthal, rather the tiny number of interspecies unions gave some mega positive adaptions (not including red hair, which re evolved later, Neanderthal red hair was lost).

Maybe it was Neanderthal strength and durability? They were wide mfs, not super tall but powerful and seemed to heal up from even major injuries.

Its possible the odd dude with the huge engine and unusual power, so your McReery/Maynard/Pickett type could be examples.

Whatever it was they
had a reproductive selection advantage, and their expressed dna in modern population is out of proportion with their tiny numbers as ancestors.

They are still with us, and they are still within us.

Thats what i heard anyway.

Your sources sound impeccable.

McCreery is a direct link.

 

[sr36]

Your sources sound impeccable.

McCreery is a direct link.

Dekka should DNA recruits and only draft those with high proportions of neanderthal.

 

[Markfs]

Im told there were two admixture events, the Jordan valley and the western european ones (both less than 1% of our DNA) so probably all non African (and some african return migrants eg Ethiopia and lots of North Africa) have a tiny bit.

The pre bronze age European populations had a double dose, so from a line maybe Denmark to Croatia you see a slight increase. Allowing of course for local variation.

Even the 1% is not reflective of population size, so there wasnt a village with 99 Sapiens and 1 Neanderthal, rather the tiny number of interspecies unions gave some mega positive adaptions (not including red hair, which re evolved later, Neanderthal red hair was lost).

Maybe it was Neanderthal strength and durability? They were wide mfs, not super tall but powerful and seemed to heal up from even major injuries.

Its possible the odd dude with the huge engine and unusual power, so your McReery/Maynard/Pickett type could be examples.

Whatever it was they
had a reproductive selection advantage, and their expressed dna in modern population is out of proportion with their tiny numbers as ancestors.

They are still with us, and they are still within us.

Thats what i heard anyway.

It seems to me from a strictly scientific perspective that little johnny noble is some form of red-haired misfit and should be caste into the wilderness before the start of the season... we have been trying to do away with him for well over a year in this thread and now we have the scientific proof that he should go...I intend to send this information to graham wright...

 

[Markfs]

Dekka should DNA recruits and only draft those with high proportions of neanderthal.

I hope that such a strategy would not be interpreted as some form of james hird genetic manipulation....

 

[sr36]

I hope that such a strategy would not be interpreted as some form of james hird genetic manipulation....

That's actually a really good idea - we could inject it. Pretty sure that Neanderthal isn't on the WADA prohibited list. Might be able to acquire some mongrel.

 

[Markfs]

Would someone pleassssssssssse clean out the bio's on the collingwood site? The list has been settled...

That's actually a really good idea - we could inject it. Pretty sure that Neanderthal isn't on the WADA prohibited list. Might be able to acquire some mongrel.

You could probably disembowel will kelly and refill him with neanderthal body parts and he would still be a limp wrist....

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Two new players to whip……

The new captain for not being Pendles

Pendles for giving up his captaincy for some socialist leftie ideals of letting the poor people have a go.

 

[timokane]

its getting harder and harder now a days but my 2 are noble and will bloody hoskin elliott

 

[Markfs]

its getting harder and harder now a days but my 2 are noble and will bloody hoskin elliott

patience grasshopper..... meditate and wait until the new season and it will all be revealed...

 

[Markfs]

Two new players to whip……

The new captain for not being Pendles

Pendles for giving up his captaincy for some socialist leftie ideals of letting the poor people have a go.

It does reek of wokeism.....

 

[Horaceg]

Anyone pumping up Bianco’s tyres, I think he is ready to have a red hot crack this year, too short, too slow slow and a little bit meh!

 

[Markfs]

Anyone pumping up Bianco’s tyres, I think he is ready to have a red hot crack this year, too short, too slow slow and a little bit meh!

A workhorse who will be useful in losses. There are some who would say that he's so pathetic that he doesnt really warrant a passionate whipping. He's probably someone to whip when you've got a spare hand available...

 

[Horaceg]

A workhorse who will be useful in losses. There are some who would say that he's so pathetic that he doesnt really warrant a passionate whipping. He's probably someone to whip when you've got a spare hand available...

True, It does need to feel right, there needs to be an element of satisfaction, he is a chance but still some way off some of the true greats. Good luck to him train the house down, there are openings now the Brown Boys have left.

 

[Cyclops]

Two new players to whip……

The new captain for not being Pendles

Pendles for giving up his captaincy for some socialist leftie ideals of letting the poor people have a go.

Highly original and has legs.

"Selfishbury" and "Not Scott" could be the two new WBs.

 

[Markfs]

True, It does need to feel right, there needs to be an element of satisfaction, he is a chance but still some way off some of the true greats. Good luck to him train the house down, there are openings now the Brown Boys have left.

It does make me think about the satisfaction we get from whipping. Players like Bianco, there is a frustration that they are still on the list. That a great club like ours has wasted a list spot on someone so pathetic. The browns were champions of this. I still remember the sheep dog chasing from opposition midfielder to midfielder, never quite impacting, never making a tackle. He was a master of creating frustration. Other players might create a level of disgust at their wokeish behaviour. Someone like Grundee with his man bun and his hippie personna, just made me angry. Bianco is clearly in the pathetic basket. He has a bit of the little tank engine that could, about him. Of course, he cant. He wont. He is destined for failure. He's just pathetic. It's probably his last year, even if we dont whip him.....but I sort of feel obliged to give him a serve or two over the next year.

 

[The Dawes]

Dekka should DNA recruits and only draft those with high proportions of neanderthal.

as long as they haven't been exposed to the major pathways and/or are bottom aged.

 

[Horaceg]

It does make me think about the satisfaction we get from whipping. Players like Bianco, there is a frustration that they are still on the list. That a great club like ours has wasted a list spot on someone so pathetic. The browns were champions of this. I still remember the sheep dog chasing from opposition midfielder to midfielder, never quite impacting, never making a tackle. He was a master of creating frustration. Other players might create a level of disgust at their wokeish behaviour. Someone like Grundee with his man bun and his hippie personna, just made me angry. Bianco is clearly in the pathetic basket. He has a bit of the little tank engine that could, about him. Of course, he cant. He wont. He is destined for failure. He's just pathetic. It's probably his last year, even if we dont whip him.....but I sort of feel obliged to give him a serve or two over the next year.

I think he will be more practice, just getting the hand moving and whip cracking correctly for the true up and comers.

 

[Markfs]

as long as they haven't been exposed to the major pathways and/or are bottom aged.

We shouldnt go overboard targetting neantheral players. Read this assessment...

"
Even genetics support the idea that Neanderthals were better sprinters than runners. The Neanderthal genome contains a high proportion of variants of genes that, today, have been linked to high-level athletic performance in power sports. In other words, Neanderthals were genetically programmed for bulkier, more powerful muscles that made them suited for short bursts of activity, while modern human muscles were designed for endurance."

So we can still use humans for the outside runners but we definitely should be looking for neanderthals for doing the work in the guts.....

Another good thing about the neanderthal is that the extra muscle mass needs extra steroid type hormones......and we all know what that means.....more mongrel. I think Hine's obsession with players who are born in December is just fantasy in comparison. I'd rather we went with the science.

 

[Markfs]

I think he will be more practice, just getting the hand moving and whip cracking correctly for the true up and comers.

And we shouldnt forget the fun element of just sinking the boot into one of our players. It's one of the things that makes me feel better after a loss.

 

[sr36]

I think he will be more practice, just getting the hand moving and whip cracking correctly for the true up and comers.

It's deeper than that. Despite him not even knowing what a footy looks like, the wokes are going to want to keep him around as they love his tales of lattes and well frothed soy milk. We're going to need to thrash him to drive him out