Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[Sea fog]

Is it time to whip the fitness team?

 

[Markfs]

Is it time to whip the fitness team?

Foggy, you really need to show more confidence in your whipping. People will never respect you if you keep being so polite...

 

[jmac70]

I’d like to whip Frampton’s groin.

 

[Markfs]

I’d like to whip Frampton’s groin.

I think we all know that it isnt his groin that's the problem. That's just the mounting area for underperforming undersized offending body parts....

 

[Markfs]

forces of evil conspiracy are working behind the scenes to make darcy the all australian captain.....The grand poobah of wokedom has proclaimed his latest list of edicts and darcy is seen as the titular head of the plan to transform footy into a major vehicle for wokedom...Hopefully the combined forces of magpie royalty that cut this trend off at the neck...

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Now we might get the opportunity to whip Aiden Begg. Some fresh blood!

 

[Markfs]

Now we might get the opportunity to whip Aiden Begg. Some fresh blood!

keep your eyes open...he will probably be injured by half time

 

[Markfs]

latest news is that darcy mightnt play. He's still upset by the lance franklin matter. The club has said that he might be right in a couple of weeks.

It's hard to say if this is good or bad news but the news is definitely good with little johnny noble having problems with his tiny legs. He mightnt play. The bad news, of course, is that someone even worse will replace him. THe good news, of course, is that the replacement might outshine the little one and stay in the side. I'm a glass half full kind of guy

 

[Horaceg]

I’d like to whip Frampton’s groin.

just get consent, you don’t want to be on that same list as Jarryd Hayne

 

[Markfs]

Some have questioned why little johnny cops so much stick in this thread. For most of us, it's pretty obvious. His weekly failures are just too much to take. But his physical appearance is also distressing. I thought a photo from friday's game sums it up. Whatever you think of hawkins, the ranga in the pic looks pasty and disgusting in comparison..

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Some have questioned why little johnny cops so much stick in this thread. For most of us, it's pretty obvious. His weekly failures are just too much to take. But his physical appearance is also distressing. I thought a photo from friday's game sums it up. Whatever you think of hawkins, the ranga in the pic looks pasty and disgusting in comparison..

It was nice of Hawkins to swap photos with the work experience kid. When he gets older he might grow into it. Hawkins on the other hand can give his to his kids to wear.

 

[noideaatall]

I’d like to whip Frampton’s groin.

Let's keep this thread above the waistband pls.

 

[noideaatall]

Something is wrong, which discerning whippers knew long ago. You mob probably only realised when our legendary OP started a groin focus. Old mate, Ed, understood Collingwood traditions and handpicked mates to deliver said traditions. This new regime, with their interviews, processes and lack of public comment have noideaatall about Pies traditions.

Last year fooled some: flukey wins, underdog, Ginni persecuted, failed in finals. Superficially, the Collingwood tradition. The discerning whipper saw through this mirage: too many close wins, too many new recruits nailing it, Grundy staying injured and "winners don't lie down" mentality. Even you mob can see through it now, we have some New Pies mentality of being winners. So un-Collingwood.

The try-hards amongst us will focus on puffer jackets, pasty complexion and moustaches. The great unwashed deliver such rubbish as Elliot/Sidebottom/insert player are cooked. The discerning whipper knows this is the time to loose the reigns, let em run and store the whipping energy for the finish line. Don't be fooled, you mob, Collingwood traditions run deep. No flash in the pan winner from Fitzroy will overrun our deep traditions.

You know it makes sense.

 

[Markfs]

I read that post backwards and it made more sense. Some posters arent losing the reins. They are losing their marbles.

As for the game, it was a useless mob beating an even more useless mob. It says something when a bloke from overseas knocks on the door of the holden gemini centre and gets a game and ends up being the best on the ground... From the post game interview, it seems that Big Cox has decided to invent a new form of english. I hope to read the translation later in the week.

Word of warning for those watching the replay. It runs straight into Bounce. Best to flick everything off when the final siren sounds.

 

[noideaatall]

I read that post backwards and it made more sense. Some posters arent losing the reins. They are losing their marbles.

As for the game, it was a useless mob beating an even more useless mob. It says something when a bloke from overseas knocks on the door of the holden gemini centre and gets a game and ends up being the best on the ground... From the post game interview, it seems that Big Cox has decided to invent a new form of english. I hope to read the translation later in the week.

Word of warning for those watching the replay. It runs straight into Bounce. Best to flick everything off when the final siren sounds.

You got nothing, except maybe the recognition you got nothing which comes from living in a sand dune on the far west of nothing. Even Ginni gets something from a blind kick. There is a time for everything under the sun, even time for Sr36 to stop throwing concrete blocks at players groins. Now is not the moment.

 

[sr36]

You got nothing, except maybe the recognition you got nothing which comes from living in a sand dune on the far west of nothing. Even Ginni gets something from a blind kick. There is a time for everything under the sun, even time for Sr36 to stop throwing concrete blocks at players groins. Now is not the moment.

Am I right in thinking that our fans lay down like a bunch of useless squibs and failed to offend anyone with booing. ****ing disgrace.

 

[Vicky Park]

Am I right in thinking that our fans lay down like a bunch of useless squibs and failed to offend anyone with booing. ******* disgrace.

They did. Except the umpires, who of course deserved to be booed. I booed them too today, because everyone else did and I was upset that there was no-one else to boo.

We need to plan this better, identify who to boo well ahead of the game, so that those of us who are floundering in the booing department can feel confident when and who to boo.

 

[noideaatall]

Am I right in thinking that our fans lay down like a bunch of useless squibs and failed to offend anyone with booing. ******* disgrace.

You got nothing either. Do I have to coach you mob. Set your sights on the mo, or that pretender that came in the last quarter.

 

[Markfs]

They did. Except the umpires, who of course deserved to be booed. I booed them too today, because everyone else did and I was upset that there was no-one else to boo.

We need to plan this better, identify who to boo well ahead of the game, so that those of us who are floundering in the booing department can feel confident when and who to boo.

i think a lot of us were thrown off by toby wimping out on the game ... it's hard to boo a GPS player if you dont know his name. I was going to boo callum brown for old time sake but he never got near the ball and i think the coach subbed him out to give the old man a go. But the rest of them are no-names on $1.2m a year...

of course, the blues next week and i'd boo anything in blue next week except for jo silvagni....

 

[Markfs]

You got nothing either. Do I have to coach you mob. Set your sights on the mo, or that pretender that came in the last quarter.

no you dont have to coach us. We whip players for the unbridled enjoyment of it all. If I was forced to take instructions, I'd prefer to cheer the team and I cant remember the last time I cheered a pie team

 

[sr36]

You got nothing either. Do I have to coach you mob. Set your sights on the mo, or that pretender that came in the last quarter.

The mo belongs to a Russian with a maniacal grin. I'm not making eye contact, I'm not doing anything to attract that guys attention. He's like twisted carny golf from a David Lynch movie. Do yourself a favour and just back away

The way I see it. We whipped the woke, the toff, the little brown potatoes, the Madge and a few others whose names I can't remember out of the club. We've since whipped WHE out of the wheelie bin he's hiding in. Noble is still small pasty and a ranga, but he ****s up less often than he used to due to us telling him he was shit and to kick it to Pies pkayers. Murphy is still a spud, but we've taught him he's useless and to play to his limitations of just running around punching the ball like a psycho spaz.

Basically, we've turned this club around.

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Slim pickings again but surely Ginnivan gets a whip for showing surprise at his fluke goal. That’s not the way to celebrate. He needs to own it,… pretend he did it on purpose…. Do a cartwheel or something. You’re not gunna win goal of the year if you skulk around admitting it was pure luck!

Ginni needs to put some mongrel into his goal celebrations.

 

[Markfs]

It seems a few are getting disheartened by not be able to whip players. I think SR's approach is fair enough and I wouldn't even be that positive. No doubt, some of the worst offenders arent demonstrating their weaknesses but just have a look at the realities.

Little Johnny Noble. Appears to be fixed, but ask yourself this, would you be confident that little johnny wouldnt take on a tackler in a grand final in ridiculosu circumstances, which resulted in a pivotal goal to the opposition? And that look he has got doesnt change. I dont want a pasty ranga representing me on the premiership dias...

Hyphen. Sure he goes well when we are winning, but will he go into hiding when the pressure is on? Would you trust him to turn up at a grand final?

The Trey. Turned into a vanilla. Like going into a mexican restaurant and telling them to hold the chilli. His best work still involves picking up team-mates when they fall down.

Tom the surfer. Is on the list to shoot hoops with Pendles. How the hell did he get a game? What were they thinking? Derek wants a few trips to watch the NBA, now the irish thing has gone bust.

Freddie. I'm surprised he can go down the shops without getting injured. The Cats really stiched us up on getting this guy out of town.

Trent Cafe Latte. Does the Pendles going slow impersonation without the good footy bits. He is now an excellent VFL player.

Spud Murphy. Has become a favourite of some of the fans. I have this vision of him trying to kick across the ground to set up a winning goal in the grand final and shanking it. Yes, you know he would.

Pete Frampton. Pulled out of the last game because he was feeling the pressure. The groin has always been the code for testicle problems. In Pete's case, he lost them in adelaide.

Sidebottom. He's so cooked, we've been accustomed to the amount of missed tackles and other defensive errors. A certainty to be shown up in a grand final.

Cooper Murely. Who? Lost in a crack in the oval....

Joe Richards. Could have been taken in the first round of the draft....by derek. Enough said

The Russian. I cant wait to see this energise bunny under grand final stress....we know the answer...

Ash Wednesday and Ian Hillclimb. Unable to comment on these two but I think we need to employ a couple of more psychs

Jacob Ryan. What was derek thinking?

 

[sr36]

It seems a few are getting disheartened by not be able to whip players. I think SR's approach is fair enough and I wouldn't even be that positive. No doubt, some of the worst offenders arent demonstrating their weaknesses but just have a look at the realities.

Little Johnny Noble. Appears to be fixed, but ask yourself this, would you be confident that little johnny wouldnt take on a tackler in a grand final in ridiculosu circumstances, which resulted in a pivotal goal to the opposition? And that look he has got doesnt change. I dont want a pasty ranga representing me on the premiership dias...

Hyphen. Sure he goes well when we are winning, but will he go into hiding when the pressure is on? Would you trust him to turn up at a grand final?

The Trey. Turned into a vanilla. Like going into a mexican restaurant and telling them to hold the chilli. His best work still involves picking up team-mates when they fall down.

Tom the surfer. Is on the list to shoot hoops with Pendles. How the hell did he get a game? What were they thinking? Derek wants a few trips to watch the NBA, now the irish thing has gone bust.

Freddie. I'm surprised he can go down the shops without getting injured. The Cats really stiched us up on getting this guy out of town.

Trent Cafe Latte. Does the Pendles going slow impersonation without the good footy bits. He is now an excellent VFL player.

Spud Murphy. Has become a favourite of some of the fans. I have this vision of him trying to kick across the ground to set up a winning goal in the grand final and shanking it. Yes, you know he would.

Pete Frampton. Pulled out of the last game because he was feeling the pressure. The groin has always been the code for testicle problems. In Pete's case, he lost them in adelaide.

Sidebottom. He's so cooked, we've been accustomed to the amount of missed tackles and other defensive errors. A certainty to be shown up in a grand final.

Cooper Murely. Who? Lost in a crack in the oval....

Joe Richards. Could have been taken in the first round of the draft....by derek. Enough said

The Russian. I cant wait to see this energise bunny under grand final stress....we know the answer...

Ash Wednesday and Ian Hillclimb. Unable to comment on these two but I think we need to employ a couple of more psychs

Jacob Ryan. What was derek thinking?

There's 2 categories of whippees:

1. Blokes you want to drive out of the club - Wilson, Kelly, etc

2. Blokes who you are whipping because they've been shit and the whipping might make them play better - or drive them out of the club if they don't - Noble, WHE, Spud Murphy etc.

 

[Markfs]

There's 2 categories of whippees:

1. Blokes you want to drive out of the club - Wilson, Kelly, etc

2. Blokes who you are whipping because they've been s**t and the whipping might make them play better - or drive them out of the club if they don't - Noble, WHE, Spud Murphy etc.

well we want to make them better because they're crap....but i would never trust them. In the end, we want the players to be the elite of the sport....the very best...the all australian back pocket and the centre half forward....the all-australian interchange... the all australian physio....the all australian orange cutterer.... after all, it's all we deserve.

So yes, I'll put up with the little johnny but i'll never be happy with him. WHile I'd love to see the team in a premiership photo this year, it would take some of the shine off it if the pasty one was in the front row on the side...