Why a Port Adelaide Premiership in 2021 is a certainty

[PrisonBars4life]

Can this thread be immortalized?

Presumably you have actually read the first post and understand its satirical?

 

[Flags_In_The_Bag]

It's getting to the pointy end of the season, with 8-10 teams gearing up for a seemingly huge round to close out the home and away season and start their push for the flag.
I'm here to tell you why this is a futile endeavour, and why the cup will be heading to Alberton in 6 weeks.

#1: OVERHEAD REBOUND CONTESTED SMASH FIST FORWARD DRIVES
Port Adelaide, led by captain Tom Jonas and new sheriff in town Aliir Aliir, lead the competition in this statistic by a staggering amount. This is a main component of Port Adelaides game that has troubled teams consistently in the second half of the season, and sees Port Adelaide as the form team of the competition heading in to finals.
In the last 6 weeks, Aliir Aliir has recorded 58 Overhead rebound contested smash fist forward drives, the next best in the competition being Brayden Maynard with 26.
Tom Jonas has recorded 4th most, with 22 overhead rebound contested smash fist forward drives over the same period.
This has allowed Port to attack vigorously on the turnover, with their half backs gathering the loose ball and using the dangerous foot skills of Houston and Bonner to maximum effect.

#2 AERIAL PENETRATING FORWARD 50 ENTRY MOVEMENTS GENERATED FROM WING PLAY
With a fit Duursma back in the side in recent weeks to complement the evergreen 2021 All Australian lock Karl Amon, Port Adelaide have a few tricks up their sleeve when it comes to aerial penetrating forward 50 entry movements generated from wing play. In fact, they lead the competition by 12.8 per game on average. Duursmon, as I call this deceptively dangerous dynamic duo, don't waste too many opportunities and make things happen. When Port are generating so many more aerial penetrating forward 50 entry movements generated from wing play, it brings our ace up our sleeve in to play. Bringing me to number 3....

#3 GEORGIADIXEE
No, its not a new pokemon, its the Tremendous trinity of Georgiades, Dixon and Rozee. This trio contains all the attributes you want in a forward line. Crafty forward play, sticky fingers, speed and contested mongrel. Make no doubt, this is the most dangerous forward line in the competition, and it isn't even close. Oh, and if these 3 don't fire? Well waiting in the wings we only have the GOAT Robbie Gray, Fantastic Fantasia and the illustrious Butters, who can cut through teams like a hot knife through himself.

I could go on and on, but as you can see, there will be no stopping this juggernaut when September rolls around and I have the stats to back me up.
Other teams should give up now, as season 2021 can only end one way. With King Ken and Tommy J on the dais clutching the cup on the last Saturday in September.

Stats to back up huh, well it could have been worse, you could have said take it to the bank

 

[Flags_In_The_Bag]

Reads Thread title, please dont be a Port Adelaide supporter.....Damnit

i feel for you. i was thinking, no way a port supporter could have started this thread. then looked and thought ohh noo

 

[Flags_In_The_Bag]

Presumably you have actually read the first post and understand its satirical?

You think for one second there woukdnt be told you do if it went another way

 

[Ron The Bear]

Bold attempt to talk them into it.

 

[BigVic]

This hasn't aged well at all

 

[2006_Eagles]

snivel

 

[kirky]

This thread is clearly satirical yet it managed to get a few crowies angry, so well done sausage. Hopefully buttersy and duursmy fires up

They only thing they can do properly is fire up a bbq. And that is all they will be doing today.

The world is back to normal and Ken Hinkley is still coaching the PAFC.

Life is good.

 

[Greasyrhys]

They’ll never win a flag with koch & ken in charge. Sad given Boak & Gray have given their all over the years

 

[Anzacpaul]

It's pretty funny how the mouthbreather's on bigfooty push their petty jealous and grievances. We were never the favourite last year, not once. And yet, those same people are saying we choked. We were getting ragged on about not beating top 8 sides, then we starting beating them so it was the top 4. We roll a top 4 side, now we haven't beaten enough top 4 sides. Geelong/ Brisbane are the only other good sides in good form and they have suffered major injuries. 17-5, in better form and with less injuries than other rivals. Anyone who says we can't win it has no idea and is some loser jerking off their little pecker and masking their own insecurities.

Delicious.

 

[beema limapep]

 

[Go_Roos!]

At least Koch doesn't have to fret about not getting to Perth now. Relax Koch.

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

It's pretty funny how the mouthbreather's on bigfooty push their petty jealous and grievances. We were never the favourite last year, not once. And yet, those same people are saying we choked. We were getting ragged on about not beating top 8 sides, then we starting beating them so it was the top 4. We roll a top 4 side, now we haven't beaten enough top 4 sides. Geelong/ Brisbane are the only other good sides in good form and they have suffered major injuries. 17-5, in better form and with less injuries than other rivals. Anyone who says we can't win it has no idea and is some loser jerking off their little pecker and masking their own insecurities.

Good grief, wouldn't want to be you on Saturday night.

 

[PrisonBars4life]

Good grief, wouldn't want to be you on Saturday night.

I imagine how you have been for the better part of 20 years

 

[Lsta062]

I mean, we all knew they were pretenders this year deep down. Probably even Port Adelaide fans knew it…

…And therein is their problem. Questions need to be asked when a team in the top 2 at the end of the home and away season is not rated as a Premiership chance.

 

[Soggy2112]

I mean, we all knew they were pretenders this year deep down. Probably even Port Adelaide fans knew it…

…And therein is their problem. Questions need to be asked when a team in the top 2 at the end of the home and away season is not rated as a Premiership chance.

Port got there because the only game they lost to a side outside of the top 5 was West Coast away. A relatively easy draw coupled with no upset losses meant they found their way into the top two.

In contrast:
Brisbane lost to St Kilda and Hawthorn
Geelong lost to Adelaide
Bulldogs lost to Hawthorn

Those sides do what Port did and not drop games they shouldn’t have then they would’ve finished above Port.

Based on last year their draw wasn’t even that soft as they had double ups against Collingwood, St Kilda and the Bulldogs, all finalists from 2020 so I don’t think you can blame a bad fixture.

 

[Gysberts2Bate]

The SA sides have had the most stability of any club over the last two years. Has helped Port into the top 2, but they’re closer to a 4-6 side.

 

[Captain_Bender]

The premiership will never go to South Australia again.

 

[Soggy2112]

The premiership will never go to South Australia again.

What do you base that on?

 

[beema limapep]

I imagine how you have been for the better part of 20 years

And they say Port will never tear their own supporters apart.

What a time to be alive!

 

[beema limapep]

Delicious.

 

[Dazb86]

I was genuinely surprised by the outright confidence of the majority of their supporters before Saturday night. They were 100% the favourites but the way they were carrying on was like the game was a forgone conclusion.

The reality is they beat us by 2 points during our lowest ebb in form for the year. That's a very small margin to be hanging your hat on as dead set certainties.

 

[PrisonBars4life]

And they say Port will never tear their own supporters apart.

What a time to be alive!

Remember when your fans were spitting on players? Pepperidge farm remembers.

 

[PrisonBars4life]

I was genuinely surprised by the outright confidence of the majority of their supporters before Saturday night. They were 100% the favourites but the way they were carrying on was like the game was a forgone conclusion.

The reality is they beat us by 2 points during our lowest ebb in form for the year. That's a very small margin to be hanging your hat on as dead set certainties.

That's a weird take. First 20 pages of the GameDay thread is us telling Bulldogs fans to stop whinging and play the game. You were the only ones saying you couldnt win and it would be a choke if we didn't

 

[Soggy2112]

Remember when your fans were spitting on players? Pepperidge farm remembers.

They also don’t make a big song and dance (literally) about how their club is special because they can “never tear us apart” only to be quite easily torn apart moments later.