Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[bomberclifford]

 

[VineValerian]

View attachment 1322555

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[EskimoPAFC]

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Haha so glad to hear I'm not the only one... I got it but it took way longer than I'd hoped.

Think about him walking in socks that are a bit crusty

 

[Grave Danger]

Haha so glad to hear I'm not the only one... I got it but it took way longer than I'd hoped.

Think about him walking in socks that are a bit crusty

The son looks quite smug about it - what a w*nker!

 

[philreich]

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Ford Fairlane]

I was in a restaurant last night and the waitress gave me the wrong meal… It was meant for a GP at the next table…..Afterwards she said ” Did you enjoy it?” I said ” Oh yes, it was just what the doctor ordered!”

 

[Quadzilla]

A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a fish under his arm. "Do you have any fishcakes?" he asks. "Yes, of course," says the fish and chip shop owner.

"Great," replies the man, nodding at the fish under his arm, "It's his birthday."

 

[Quadzilla]

I made some fish tacos last night. They weren't interested and just swam away

 

[Grave Danger]

I made some fish tacos last night. They weren't interested and just swam away

They schooled you, man.

 

[VineValerian]

They schooled you, man.

You certainly took the bait

 

[Grave Danger]

You certainly took the bait

What's your angle, pal?

 

[Ford Fairlane]

I used to be the president of our local origami club......

unfortunately it folded

 

[Ford Fairlane]

My wife said she’s leaving me due to my obsession with the Monkees.......

I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face

 

[Byrons Firen]

My wife said she’s leaving me due to my obsession with the Monkees.......

I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face

I'm a believer

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[philreich]

The Collingwood cheer squad has just returned from a trip to an orphanage in Zimbabwe. "It was a great chance to meet such underprivileged people with very little hope in life", said Alfred Mgombo, aged 6.

 

[Grave Danger]

Translated from German: What's 3 x 3?

No

 

[davesnothere]

I grilled a chicken for 2hrs... it still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road

 

[davesnothere]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Quadzilla]

Someone stole a big tree from the park opposite our Police station.

All that was left is a big hole ... police are looking into it.

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Quadzilla]

I Phoned the local council today to ask if i could have a skip outside my house.

They said i could do cartwheels round the block for all they cared.

 

[Ford Fairlane]