Roast Media Shakes Head, Part 8

[Grave Danger]

Maybe they asked the clubs to submit nominations...

 

[JimmyBC]

No Dangerfield & Gray is pretty ridiculous.

 

[GoPorts]

What every AFL club wants for Christmas​

Port Adelaide - A suit and tie for Ken Hinkley​

It's almost perfectly poised, isn't it? A coach under pressure for years with a list full of talent, which -- whether you agree or not -- should probably have made a Grand Final in the past few years, has gone to the trade table and filled the gaps in the list. Port are surely ready to once again contend, and wouldn't it be fitting should they pull off the ultimate victory that Ken Hinkley channels Mark Williams in a celebration that involves choking himself with his tie, as a real 'up yours' to all the doubters?


The suit and tie would be for his Centrelink interview - if Kochead should ever be dislodged

What every AFL club wants for Christmas

It's the most wonderful time of the year, and time is running out for AFL teams to get their last-minute requests to Santa. Here's what our writers believe each club wants for Christmas.

www.espn.com.au

Why does it always need to be about him.

The guy has repeatedly failed at every point of his coaching and playing career when it matters. He has the insight and personality of a mouldy potato. I don't get why the media seem to think he deserves a flag. He doesn't even deserve the job he currently has

 

[dav3]

Why does it always need to be about him.

They're copying posters in here?

 

[VineValerian]

Cyril & S. Burgoyne making that side is just taking the P155.

Burger played his best footy for Port .
And Lloyd and Brown ahead of Tredrea is just such BS

 

[OneGreatClub]

They're copying posters in here?

Yep

 

[Willsy10]

Milne is absolutely streets ahead of Cyril, if you want to pick two pure small forwards in both pockets but you could’ve easily also put a hybrid like Aker or Robbie.

Burgoyne and Johnson on the bench ahead of the likes of Pavlich, Tredrea, Riewoldt, Buckley, Dangerfield, Akermanis, Gray & Ricciuto is comical.

A lot of it is not too bad but Cyril, Burgoyne and Johnson are all ridiculously overrated.


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[Jojay]

Yep. 2 of the most over rated players of all time. Cyril kicked 275 goals from 189 games. Mark Le Cras kicked 441 from 219 games. Who are you picking?

If it's picking a side to play in a GF, it's Cyril everyday of the week.

 

[Willsy10]

If it's picking a side to play in a GF, it's Cyril everyday of the week.

May as well have Shane Ellen in there then.

It’s the best side from pretty much the last quarter of a century not the most silly or delicious.


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[Schulzenfest]

If you think Steve Johnson is one of the best 23 footballers of the past 23 years then you quite simply do not know football. He wouldn't be in the top 50. The media's dick riding of Geelong knows no bounds.

 

[Launchpad McQuack]

They're copying posters in here?

Expecting a cry from you about it in the article comments as well, big boy.

 

[Del165198]

Not one player ? Come on we have been pretty constant over the last 23 years LOL Vic bullshit View attachment 1870458

Blokes whose career only spanned a handful of seasons post 2000 can jog on.

Lance Franklin is a million times better full forward than lloyd. Franklin isn't a centre half forwards bunghole.

Franklin at FF, tredrea at CHF.

Pendlebury has longevity but there's no way in the world he's in the starting centre line.

Long arms Fletcher in a back pocket? He's a fullback.

Cyreal? Lol.

This team is dick and balls.

 

[tribey]

Robbie Gray

9

Robbie Gray

Age

36

Ht

183cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

19.9

5star

K

9.8

4star

HB

10.1

5star

M

3.5

4star

T

3.2

5star

G

1.4

5star

D

13.3

3star

K

6.0

2star

HB

7.3

4star

M

2.4

3star

T

2.6

4star

G

0.6

4star

D

10.4

3star

K

6.6

3star

HB

3.8

3star

M

3.6

4star

T

1.4

4star

G

1.4

5star

very stiff.

Not enough is made of the fact that Robbie was a genuinely elite small forward who graduated up to becoming an absolutely elite midfielder, and could play in either role as the best player on the park.

Not many can say that in the history of the game, let alone over the past 20-odd years.

 

[tribey]

Expecting a cry from you about it in the article comments as well, big boy.

Yeah, can’t believe we’re obsessed with the greatest millstone to be draped around this club’s neck since Bucky and Boults signed the club away to the incompetent lice at SANFL HQ.

 

[Schulzenfest]

Robbie Gray

9

Robbie Gray

Age

36

Ht

183cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

19.9

5star

K

9.8

4star

HB

10.1

5star

M

3.5

4star

T

3.2

5star

G

1.4

5star

D

13.3

3star

K

6.0

2star

HB

7.3

4star

M

2.4

3star

T

2.6

4star

G

0.6

4star

D

10.4

3star

K

6.6

3star

HB

3.8

3star

M

3.6

4star

T

1.4

4star

G

1.4

5star

: 4 AA's, 3 B&F's, 1 AFLCA MVP
Steve Johnson: 3 AA's, 0 B&F's, 0 MVP's of any description

The one and only thing Johnson has over Gray is premierships, and if premierships are what we're measuring on then we should take Johnson out and replace him with four time premiership player Grant Birchall

14

Grant Birchall

Age

36

Ht

193cm

Wt

89kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

21.9

5star

K

12.6

5star

HB

9.3

5star

M

5.8

5star

T

1.6

4star

MG

250.0

4star

D

13.3

3star

K

9.2

4star

HB

4.2

3star

M

4.3

4star

T

1.3

2star

MG

250.0

4star

D

14.0

4star

K

7.6

3star

HB

6.4

4star

M

2.6

3star

T

0.6

3star

.

 

[Willsy10]

Pavlich is probably the biggest omission from that team, I love tredrea and gray but Pavlich had 6 AA’s 6 b n f’s and 700 goals in that period and could just about play anywhere. Genuinely mystifying he isn’t even on the bench.


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[Tibbs]

Pavlich is probably the biggest omission from that team, I love tredrea and gray but Pavlich had 6 AA’s 6 b n f’s and 700 goals in that period and could just about play anywhere. Genuinely mystifying he isn’t even on the bench.


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You missed the most important stat ... Did he play for a Melbourne club?

 

[tribey]

This stat only counts when Cyril, Stevie J, Graan Maars, and THE BIG HAIRY CAT™ are involved.

 

[Willsy10]

You missed the most important stat ... Did he play for a Melbourne club?

I think Pavlich and Tredrea are both criminally underrated. However, J Brown was a gun too but i think he is on the more overrated side of the ledger and he played for Brisbane.

But yes generally, big victorian clubs + premierships make the popular opinion about a player much more favourable.

 

[Janey]

I think Pavlich and Tredrea are both criminally underrated. However, J Brown was a gun too but i think he is on the more overrated side of the ledger and he played for Brisbane.

But yes generally, big victorian clubs + premierships make the popular opinion about a player much more favourable.

I think the fact that J Brown is still very much in the public eye via Fox Footy helps a lot too.

 

[TeeKray]

It's impossible to pick teams like this, there are just far too many great players and very few who stand head and shoulders above the rest. For instance you ink Franklin into the team for key forwards and then there's about a dozen others who would all be totally deserving of a spot in the team. This is even more so the case with midfielders.

 

[Peninsula Boy]

It is pretty hard and down to personal preference.

Players who I think are very stiff to miss out on is Jason Akermanis, Matthew Pavlich

Matthew Pavlich

Age

42

Ht

192cm

Wt

99kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

17.5

4star

K

11.3

4star

HB

6.3

4star

M

5.6

5star

T

2.6

4star

G

2.3

5star

No current season stats available

D

16.8

4star

K

12.8

5star

HB

4.0

3star

M

8.8

5star

T

1.2

3star

G

3.4

5star

, Patrick Dangerfield, Robbie Gray

9

Robbie Gray

Age

36

Ht

183cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

19.9

5star

K

9.8

4star

HB

10.1

5star

M

3.5

4star

T

3.2

5star

G

1.4

5star

D

13.3

3star

K

6.0

2star

HB

7.3

4star

M

2.4

3star

T

2.6

4star

G

0.6

4star

D

10.4

3star

K

6.6

3star

HB

3.8

3star

M

3.6

4star

T

1.4

4star

G

1.4

5star

and the one that will drive you guys crazy Joel Selwood.

 

[Andre]

It's impossible to pick teams like this, there are just far too many great players and very few who stand head and shoulders above the rest. For instance you ink Franklin into the team for key forwards and then there's about a dozen others who would all be totally deserving of a spot in the team. This is even more so the case with midfielders.

For non-KPP positions I'd agree, there's so much subjectiveness, but Pavlich and Tredrea as many times AA's in KPP positions, were no brainers. Brown only gets in, as he's always been the 'Fitzroy players kid', giving the tenuous claim of the Lions success being partly a Melbourne (the city) success.

 

[portly]

Many selected in that team have been or are part of the media.

It's a boys' club selection of the media and their friends who they don't want to upset. And most in the media are Victorians.

Give it 30 seconds of your life, then move on.

 

[SC_Power]

It's impossible to pick teams like this, there are just far too many great players and very few who stand head and shoulders above the rest. For instance you ink Franklin into the team for key forwards and then there's about a dozen others who would all be totally deserving of a spot in the team. This is even more so the case with midfielders.

That’s why a second and third and even fourth team would be an interesting exercise, almost more than the first team.