Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[Markfs]

There's a lot of confusion and discontent in the thread..... this is a good thing. It can be rechannelled into the game-day thread tomorrow night. Irrespective of win or loss, there will be a point - such as the start of the game - when scores will be tight and we will be looking for someone to blame. Use your frustration to come out venting and ranting and blame it on the usual supects....

It's the process that matters.... not the targets. It's the venting and ranting that will set us free and allow us to achieve nirvana....or any other band depending on your vintage

 

[Markfs]

Regarding WHE, you are wrong.

I have changed my view on his output and reasons for his inclusion in the team.

His value is of greater importance than Soy Boy’s was. And that’s from a many measured metric position.

So the whole premise by which this thread exists, comes into question. That someone like me who has changed their tune on WHE. Can do so and with good reason.


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Totally confused post. You cant be suggesting that he has value as a player. Obviously, you're talking about his whipping value. As for the music that you use to whip the hyphen, I have no idea what your previous choice was. If it was some modern day crap with fake singing and a monotonous beat, then any change is understandable and desirable. I suggest a little bing crosby or louis armstrong to try to make a connection with the boys who won the four-peat in the late 20s.....and on no circumstances use "the final countdown"

 

[Markfs]

Maybe a loss to Brisbane is one we need to put some substance back into this thread

.……………..or just play Bianco, Cal Brown added mid season draft, anyone? Blair looks he could strap on the boots still.

substance? que? Bring me a rant from ANY game-day thread with substance and you can get a life-long subscription to this thread. Since when is whipping got anything to do with substance? Now if you're talking about the stuff that Jack is using, we dont want any of that weird wacky backy snorty stuff in here...

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Murphy’s headband will not be responsible for us losing our next Grand Final. While it may come loose at a critical moment, and inconveniently cause his hair to fall over his eyes, our back six are ready. They train for loose headbands just like they train to win close games. That peroxide blonde anti-vaxxer bloke is the weak link, but he’s doing a headband awareness course as we speak.

It’s all good, you can stop catastrophising.

Guranteed the AFL will change the rules when the D50 start using their headbands as slingshots. The AFL has it in for Collingwood and detests it when we innovate

 

[sr36]

Regarding WHE, you are wrong.

I have changed my view on his output and reasons for his inclusion in the team.

His value is of greater importance than Soy Boy’s was. And that’s from a many measured metric position.

So the whole premise by which this thread exists, comes into question. That someone like me who has changed their tune on WHE. Can do so and with good reason.


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I've cross referenced this against my metrics regarding mongrel, squib, hiding in WHEelie bins, getting the footy, et,c and clearly your metrics suck.

 

[Wearmouth]

I've cross referenced this against my metrics regarding mongrel, squib, hiding in WHEelie bins, getting the footy, et,c and clearly your metrics suck.

The facts are the facts and they don’t care about your feelings.

Unfortunately for Markfs he is wildly swirling down a toilet bowl of tears and tissue…..

Clutching at the rim while the suction from the whirlpool is pulling him into the vortex……

Don’t fear the Abyss…..embrace its serenity.


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[Markfs]

The facts are the facts and they don’t care about your feelings.

Unfortunately for Markfs he is wildly swirling down a toilet bowl of tears and tissue…..

Clutching at the rim while the suction from the whirlpool is pulling him into the vortex……

Don’t fear the Abyss…..embrace its serenity.


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You just reminded me that the bowl needs a clean. I ate some curry a couple of nights back and i've managed to formulate a new type of superglue.
I'd be grateful if you would come over and i could flush you down the bowl to try to get rid of the worst of it....

 

[sr36]

The facts are the facts and they don’t care about your feelings.

Unfortunately for Markfs he is wildly swirling down a toilet bowl of tears and tissue…..

Clutching at the rim while the suction from the whirlpool is pulling him into the vortex……

Don’t fear the Abyss…..embrace its serenity.


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The facts in 3 games so far are:
28 squib acts
21 spud acts
Both these stats would be much higher if he didn't spend last game hiding in the WHEelie bin
0 mongrel acts
1 hyphenated name
1 oversized nose.

I know you're a Dufflecoater. And wear a WHE badge on the lapel if your dufflecoat, with WHEs oversized nose gently nuzzling your bosom, but that's ok. The club want your money.
Leave the premiership building whipping to those who can see the facts. It's as plain as the nose on WHEs face that he's a mongrelless spuddy squib, with a toffy hyphenated name.

 

[Markfs]

The facts in 3 games so far are:
28 squib acts
21 spud acts
Both these stats would be much higher if he didn't spend last game hiding in the WHEelie bin
0 mongrel acts
1 hyphenated name
1 oversized nose.

I know you're a Dufflecoater. And wear a WHE badge on the lapel if your dufflecoat, with WHEs oversized nose gently nuzzling your bosom, but that's ok. The club want your money.
Leave the premiership building whipping to those who can see the facts. It's as plain as the nose on WHEs face that he's a mongrelless spuddy squib, with a toffy hyphenated name.

you shouldnt be too hard on him..... he might just be a genuine supporter lost in the wilderness.... or he could be a woke plant who doesnt want us to make the Pies great again.... we better not risk it...i say "lock him up, lock him up!!"

 

[sr36]

you shouldnt be too hard on him..... he might just be a genuine supporter lost in the wilderness.... or he could be a woke plant who doesnt want us to make the Pies great again.... we better not risk it...i say "lock him up, lock him up!!"

We just need him to pay his membership and then keep his patronising positivity pinned to his dufflecoat and away from the players.

 

[Markfs]

We just need him to pay his membership and then keep his patronising positivity pinned to his dufflecoat and away from the players.

Wearmouth or the Fly?

 

[Wearmouth]

You just reminded me that the bowl needs a clean. I ate some curry a couple of nights back and i've managed to formulate a new type of superglue.
I'd be grateful if you would come over and i could flush you down the bowl to try to get rid of the worst of it....

Vindaloo…..

May I suggest Jeyes Bloo, it’s the simplest toilet cleaner yet…..




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[Markfs]

Vindaloo…..

May I suggest Jeyes Bloo, it’s the simplest toilet cleaner yet…..




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well i'll proceed on your recommendation on this one, because in this case, you're an expert in these matters

 

[Wearmouth]

well i'll proceed on your recommendation on this one, because in this case, you're an expert in these matters

It leaves no Marks in the toilet either.


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[Wearmouth]

And because most of you have been in a winning streak malaise. You’ve all failed to notice Crisps underperforming. The sheer weight of his self inflicted indiscretion, has seen his form deteriorate to a point that has been sadly missed by all and sundry.

Unforgivable…..for those who claim to hold the whips.


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[#23 Hill]

I was listening to the Collingwood Rant today. They talked about how they didn't know what WHE's role was, but that the coaches must be happy with it because he keeps getting selected. It gave me Josh Thomas

24

Josh Thomas

Age

33

Ht

178cm

Wt

78kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

16.4

4star

K

8.5

3star

HB

7.9

5star

M

3.1

3star

T

3.0

5star

G

0.9

4star

D

9.0

2star

K

3.0

1star

HB

6.0

3star

M

1.3

1star

T

2.0

3star

G

0.0

1star

D

17.4

5star

K

9.0

4star

HB

8.4

5star

M

3.0

3star

T

3.4

5star

G

0.0

1star

deja vu.

 

[#23 Hill]

And because most of you have been in a winning streak malaise. You’ve all failed to notice Crisps underperforming. The sheer weight of his self inflicted indiscretion, has seen his form deteriorate to a point that has been sadly missed by all and sundry.

Unforgivable…..for those who claim to hold the whips.


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Winning like premierships paper over a lot of cracks.

 

[sr36]

And because most of you have been in a winning streak malaise. You’ve all failed to notice Crisps underperforming. The sheer weight of his self inflicted indiscretion, has seen his form deteriorate to a point that has been sadly missed by all and sundry.

Unforgivable…..for those who claim to hold the whips.


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That's more like it Ronny. Let's get stuck into that indestructible bloke whose wone the last two best and fairest. The useless ****er has been a touch quiet and dropped down to 23 possessions and 7 score involvements a game

 

[Markfs]

I was listening to the Collingwood Rant today. They talked about how they didn't know what WHE's role was, but that the coaches must be happy with it because he keeps getting selected. It gave me Josh Thomas deja vu.

so when you say "collingwood rant", is that an official podcast or just the general whine of a handful of pie supporters?

 

[#23 Hill]

so when you say "collingwood rant", is that an official podcast or just the general whine of a handful of pie supporters?

 

[Markfs]

i think someone needs to explain "rant" to them. But it's worrying that they've gone youtube and we're stuck with old technology....

 

[Wearmouth]

Winning like premierships paper over a lot of cracks.

Is that a back, sack as well as a crack?


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[#23 Hill]

Is that a back, sack as well as a crack?


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Why yes. Yes, it is.

 

[Wearmouth]

i think someone needs to explain "rant" to them. But it's worrying that they've gone youtube and we're stuck with old technology....

The way things are heading, this is what the Whipping Boys brains-trust will end up looking like.

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[Vicky Park]

The way things are heading, this is what the Whipping Boys brains-trust will end up looking like.

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More posting of personal images without consent!