Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[The Majestic]

Hoskin Elliot definitely owns this thread right now, what does he add to the team ?

Once I figure it out I’ll let you know. Right now I can’t think of anything positive there.

 

[The Majestic]

Is IQ actually more useless than WHE? And what's happened to the tradition of fumbly back pockets belting their opponent when they're getting smashed? Where the * is the mongrel?

I think we traded the mongrel a couple of decades ago, for a bunch of West Coast rejects and a can of flat Coke.

 

[The Majestic]

Can we whip the goslkicking coach, whomever that might be? The kicking for goal was so pathetic it was making me so mad.

 

[Sea fog]

he adds wimp gutless useless

Plenty below the Hosk according to Champion Data.

 

[Markfs]

Plenty below the Hosk according to Champion Data.

Foggy, it goes back to the age-old question of whether you whip the guy who fumbles and shirks contests, or whether you whip a guy like the hyphen who just disappears for the night and picks up a few stray possessions on the side that build up his score with champion data. I reconsidered after posting this and realised that the hyphen both shirks and goes missing...

Once again, for the umpteenth time, he went missing in action. If the team is looking for a piece of jelly, then break glass, he's your man. I've already psychologically delisted him so that I can stand watching the games.

 

[Sea fog]

Anyone else aboard the Make Nick captain now action faction?

 

[sr36]

Anyone else aboard the Make Nick captain now action faction?

Nah. It's complete rebuild time. He'll get found out due to a lack of mongrel. Trade him now whilst he's still got some value.

 

[Markfs]

Nah. It's complete rebuild time. He'll get found out due to a lack of mongrel. Trade him now whilst he's still got some value.

I dont want to lower his resale value but I think we all saw him wimp it once in the centre square...i was shocked... It reflects badly on all of us. Doesn't he realise he represents a legion of committed pie supporters?

 

[Markfs]

Anyone else aboard the Make Nick captain now action faction?

Foggy, I normally like your insights but you do have a habit of making kneejerk reactions... which of course is a good thing...

 

[sr36]

I dont want to lower his resale value but I think we all saw him wimp it once in the centre square...i was shocked... It reflects badly on all of us. Doesn't he realise he represents a legion of committed pie supporters?

We might be underestimating him a bit. He did give away a moronic free kick where he flung someone to the ground for no apparent reason. In a young player, that sort of stupidity is often a great sign of untapped future mongrel. We've just got to harness the moronic outbursts and turn them into something more violent.

 

[Sea fog]

Foggy, I normally like your insights but you do have a habit of making kneejerk reactions... which of course is a good thing...

I thought the spirit of this thread was to be absolutely knee jerky.

 

[Markfs]

I thought the spirit of this thread was to be absolutely knee jerky.

i think most great insights come from ranting....

 

[Wearmouth]

Those Maggots last night drove me nuts.

When is a 50m penalty not a 50m penalty? When Elliot gets pushed in the back after taking a mark.

Yet today I see the umpires pay this infringement as a 50m penalty.

The Maggots are in need of the biggest whipping.

Just as not understanding a long established rule of taking a player out of the contests as they follow up. Nick was accosted all night. And when he’d had enough to slightly retaliate against his transgressor. It was he who was pinged with a free against.

Not only are we being taken as fools. They are now deliberately not replaying contentious calls as they would further prove the level of incompetence the maggots possess.


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[Timmy from Thomastown]

Thoughts and prayers to Ollie Florent. No Collingwood player has performed a whippable act like that..... premature exultation. How embarrassing.

 

[jimmy35]

Yes that was a lolzworthy moment.

 

[Markfs]

Thoughts and prayers to Ollie Florent. No Collingwood player has performed a whippable act like that..... premature exultation. How embarrassing.

I thought that he humiliated himself and the swans. What a loser! I'd drop him off the list for that. His celebrations were unforgivable but the dumb look afterwards and "what happened" comment probably means that he'll be useless in clutch situations in the future....

 

[Markfs]

I have to make a comment about the Fly. Last year he talked a lot about getting better. Every press conference was about it. He refused to concentrate on the main game which was a premiership but I was willing to cut him some slack. And then of course, the team lost in the finals and the "trying to get better" thing rang a bit hollow...... but I was willing to forgive..............once...

Beginning of 2023 and he's up to his old "getting better" story and I felt the same as last year....but then we lose to brisbane. What sort of credibility has he got now? I dont believe a word he says anymore...

I think that I reflect the feelings of a lot of the posters in the gameday thread in that I'm willing to cut people at the club a break.....but I dont like being made to look like a fool. It just shows that, under pressure, the softly softly approach just doesnt work. I think it's time to get a "hard man" in to run the show..

 

[Vicky Park]

I think there are some patterns to whipping to guide us ‘going forward’:

Play 150 games for the Pies, but have a few flat outings so you should be dropped: Jamie Elliott

Play nearly 300 games for the Pies, but have an uneven start to the year so you should be dropped: Steele Sidebottom

22

Steele Sidebottom

Age

34

Ht

184cm

Wt

86kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

27.4

5star

K

14.1

5star

HB

13.3

5star

M

5.5

5star

T

3.7

5star

CL

3.2

5star

D

24.0

5star

K

12.0

5star

HB

12.0

5star

M

4.5

4star

T

4.3

5star

CL

2.3

4star

D

31.6

5star

K

14.4

5star

HB

17.2

5star

M

4.2

4star

T

4.2

5star

CL

6.0

5star

Be one of the most exciting youngsters the Pies have drafted in years, with a hard edge and that most beloved quality - mongrel - then play one ordinary game so you should be dropped: Beau McCreery

I just need to apply this pattern.

 

[#23 Hill]

Those Maggots last night drove me nuts.

When is a 50m penalty not a 50m penalty? When Elliot gets pushed in the back after taking a mark.

Yet today I see the umpires pay this infringement as a 50m penalty.

The Maggots are in need of the biggest whipping.

Just as not understanding a long established rule of taking a player out of the contests as they follow up. Nick was accosted all night. And when he’d had enough to slightly retaliate against his transgressor. It was he who was pinged with a free against.

Not only are we being taken as fools. They are now deliberately not replaying contentious calls as they would further prove the level of incompetence the maggots possess.


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If the free kick is there they should pay it. There's nothing in the rule book about paying them only if they feel like it. And how about when the player with the ball gets it slapped out of his hands? They used to be red hot on paying that as incorrect disposal. Now they let it go That is until they decide to start paying again. Crazy stuff.

 

[Markfs]

I think there are some patterns to whipping to guide us ‘going forward’:

Play 150 games for the Pies, but have a few flat outings so you should be dropped: Jamie Elliott

Play nearly 300 games for the Pies, but have an uneven start to the year so you should be dropped: Steele Sidebottom

Be one of the most exciting youngsters the Pies have drafted in years, with a hard edge and that most beloved quality - mongrel - then play one ordinary game so you should be dropped: Beau McCreery

I just need to apply this pattern.

I think we're all caught between being loyal to the experienced players and trying to hurry them out the door when they become useless. Sidebottom has been shakey since he got married. His good periods are now few and far between. I haven't clipped McCreery yet, as there are more obvious targets. And I agree that he did show mongrel last year. I worried when he said that he's got into puffer jackets and I sense that he is playing the ball a lot more this year.....but I'm willing to give him some room.

 

[sr36]

I think there are some patterns to whipping to guide us ‘going forward’:

Play 150 games for the Pies, but have a few flat outings so you should be dropped: Jamie Elliott

Play nearly 300 games for the Pies, but have an uneven start to the year so you should be dropped: Steele Sidebottom

Be one of the most exciting youngsters the Pies have drafted in years, with a hard edge and that most beloved quality - mongrel - then play one ordinary game so you should be dropped: Beau McCreery

I just need to apply this pattern.

Some don't seem to understand that demanding someone gets dropped is not about form or how a player performed on an individual day. You've got to be consistent and whip the blokes who are innately inferior and who will regularly let the club down.

WHE, Johnny Noble, Dan cement boots McStay, That big dumb blonde, etc

Sure get stuck into Elliott, Nick and Pendles when they **** up, because all errors must be greeted with abuse. But it's the spuds, squibs and wokes who you demand to be dropped and delisted.

 

[Markfs]

Some don't seem to understand that demanding someone gets dropped is not about form or how a player performed on an individual day. You've got to be consistent and whip the blokes who are innately inferior and who will regularly let the club down.

WHE, Johnny Noble, Dan cement boots McStay, That big dumb blonde, etc

Sure get stuck into Elliott, Nick and Pendles when they * up, because all errors must be greeted with abuse. But it's the spuds, squibs and wokes who you demand to be dropped and delisted.

I think we all know that while encouragement is often used in press conferences, that threats of being dropped or delisted are the only thing that motivates players. Some senior players probably only need the threat while it's gone long past that for perennial weak links like the hyphen. Some might say that little johnny cant help himself and he just "happens" to make mistakes. Well think of this way..... we just happen to threaten him with being dropped and delisted and see how he responds.

I cant tell you how disgusted I am with McStay. He squibed it.... he was stupid, gutless and embarassingly fell over at multiple times during the game. To allow Pete Frampton to show himself up in the ruck is mindblowing. Doesn't he have any pride in his performance?

It's looking more and more like a rebuild to me.....I just cant see anyway past it

 

[sr36]

I think we all know that while encouragement is often used in press conferences, that threats of being dropped or delisted are the only thing that motivates players. Some senior players probably only need the threat while it's gone long past that for perennial weak links like the hyphen. Some might say that little johnny cant help himself and he just "happens" to make mistakes. Well think of this way..... we just happen to threaten him with being dropped and delisted and see how he responds.

I cant tell you how disgusted I am with McStay. He squibed it.... he was stupid, gutless and embarassingly fell over at multiple times during the game. To allow Pete Frampton to show himself up in the ruck is mindblowing. Doesn't he have any pride in his performance?

It's looking more and more like a rebuild to me.....I just cant see anyway past it

I'd just like to apologize to the thread for not listing Spud Murphy as one of the blokes who is innately inferior. It won't happen again.

 

[Vicky Park]

I'd just like to apologize to the thread for not listing Spud Murphy as one of the blokes who is innately inferior. It won't happen again.

This post emphasises the importance of basing your assessment of a player on historical evidence. Critically, Murphy was an always injured spud up until about mid-2022. The fact that he’s been a brave and impactful defender since that time is irrelevant. Pfft. He’s a spud forever because he was a spud in his first four and a half years.

Let this be a warning to our youngsters. Spud it up once and you will be a spud forever. We will not change our minds.

 

[sr36]

I thought that he humiliated himself and the swans. What a loser! I'd drop him off the list for that. His celebrations were unforgivable but the dumb look afterwards and "what happened" comment probably means that he'll be useless in clutch situations in the future....

I thought he showed a bit of promise. He was following instructions. Told that he JUST needed to kick it between the big sticks. Moronic coaches forgot he was a moron who also needs to be told he has to kick it over the line.