Preview Round 18: Ports vs. GWS

[Pappagallo]

Round 18: Ports vs. Greater Western Sydney GIANTS Australian Rules Football Expansion Franchise

When: Sunday, 22 July 2018 @ 4:10pm ACST
Where: Adelaide Oval a.k.a. The Portress a.k.a. The Porterhouse a.k.a. How much better is this place compared to that concrete shithole?!
Last time they met: We went alright before dying in the last quarter, but Ryder didn’t play so we should do much better this f@&k f@&k f@&kitty f@&k f@&k!


I hate to say it. I really do. But a week is a long time in football.

Up until last weekend our beloved Pristine ORTS seemingly had their shit together, whereas the Gluten Intolerant ANTS hadn’t had as much to feast on as they would’ve liked. But then the ORTS lost to Peel Thunder, the ANTS beat the ladder-leading reigning premier and suddenly it’s all gone f@&king sideways on us again!

It almost feels like we’re back in 2015/16, where anything can happen and the points don’t matter, so while we’re here let’s see what old mate Butcher has to say about this week’s crucial encounter.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE’VE GOT A LOVELY GIANT PRIME RIB ON SPECIAL TODAY IT’S THE PERFECT CUT FOR A TWILIGHT SUNDAY ROAST ONLY $18.70 A KILO THAT’S RIGHT ONLY $18.70 A KILO WHAT AN AMAZING PRICE HONESTLY THAT'S BELOW COST YOU’D PAY MORE FOR A NAKED SMA HOTDOG MADE FROM UNLEY OVAL DOG SHIT AND THE STRAY CATS THAT WERE DUMPED IN A PORT POWER GYM BAG AS FILLER FOR THE LOCAL NIGHTLY NEWS SO DON’T WASTE YOUR HARD-EARNED ON STADIUM SCAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN FEED YOUR FAMILY WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL GIANT PRIME RIB ON SPECIAL TODAY FOR ONLY $18.70 A KILO WHILE STOCKS LAST RAW PINE BEDSIDES!!!”

Thanks John.

And now for the opposition analysis.

Stephen Coniglio
Asymmetric haircut, eyes too close together, would not bang. 3/10.

Tom Scully
Mouth-breather, looks 12 years old, probably still wets the bed. 2/10.

Matthew Buntine
Not Chad Wingard, drifter/serial killer vibe, won't even play, get a haircut. 1/10.

So all things considered we might lose but equally we might win because 7 days is an extended period in our great game and past performance is not an indicator of future results but then again it could be. All I know for certain is that stadium food is shit and Johnny Boy’s pro-hawking was f@&king super and I think it will inspire our ORTS to greatness this week.

Ports by 11 or 32.

 

[JUSTWORK]

After the weekends abismal performance this is an absolute must win game to prove we aren’t the side we saw last week and that just a Richmond v StKilda loss of last year.

Can’t see any of the top 4 losing this week, but need to win to stay in the top 4 hunt.

 

[TeeKray]

Chad and Broges aren't dead!!!

 

[StuMan]

Hahaha. That Tom Scully preview. Mint.

 

[StuMan]

Shame Rhys Palmer isn't around any more.

 

[Eddie Dingle]

I’ll watch the game and I’ll hate myself for it.

 

[PAFC27]

If we lose this I'll genuinely worry about missing the 8.

 

[RossFC]

 

[raman]

I’ll watch the game and I’ll hate myself for it.

Fly over!

 

[Marmozet]

After yesterday’s debacle and GWS returning to form, I’m very fearful about this one.

 

[Eddie Dingle]

Fly over!

Was very close. Have some family work to do in Adelaide but am too disorganised for this week. I think the eagles game will be a goer.

Not of the Peter variety

 

[Ant Bear]

Hopefully, last week was a bitter reminder to the coaching staff that we cannot win if we cannot score, and we cannot score with no-one ahead of the ball.

Or they'll be stubborn.

 

[Andre]

Voted most likely to become an accountant.

 

[Eddie Dingle]

Voted most likely to become an accountant with dodgy receipts hips .

efa

 

[Us against the rest]

I can't even think about this game yet.
I have images of Westhoff and Dougs in ruck, Dixon arms and legs all over the place helping out and any structures we may have had thrown out the window. Why not Ken, let's play Westhoff one of few bright lights back out of form, then you can bring Pittard and Neade back.
I feel sick.

 

[Jonts]

Off form we lose, but this team doesn't do form so who knows

 

[Us against the rest]

I’ll watch the game and I’ll hate myself for it.

Here is the link for after the game.
https://www.specsavers.com.au/stores

 

[Capital Power]

Our talls will be rotating through the ruck, we are even less likely than last week to have anyone ahead of the ball. Difficult to see us shutting down the GWS forwards to the extent we did freo. Need the midfield to dominate and maintain possession.

Honestly can't see where the 90+ points needed to win this game are going to come from. We'll improve over recent weeks (not that that's hard) but still lose by a few. Hopefully this week we'll at least put up a fight.

 

[Visenfest]

Round 18: Ports vs. Greater Western Sydney GIANTS Australian Rules Football Expansion Franchise

When: Sunday, 22 July 2018 @ 4:10pm ACST
Where: Adelaide Oval a.k.a. The Portress a.k.a. The Porterhouse a.k.a. How much better is this place compared to that concrete shithole?!
Last time they met: We went alright before dying in the last quarter, but Ryder didn’t play so we should do much better this f@&k f@&k f@&kitty f@&k f@&k!


I hate to say it. I really do. But a week is a long time in football.

Up until last weekend our beloved Pristine ORTS seemingly had their shit together, whereas the Gluten Intolerant ANTS hadn’t had as much to feast on as they would’ve liked. But then the ORTS lost to Peel Thunder, the ANTS beat the ladder-leading reigning premier and suddenly it’s all gone f@&king sideways on us again!

It almost feels like we’re back in 2015/16, where anything can happen and the points don’t matter, so while we’re here let’s see what old mate Butcher has to say about this week’s crucial encounter.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE’VE GOT A LOVELY GIANT PRIME RIB ON SPECIAL TODAY IT’S THE PERFECT CUT FOR A TWILIGHT SUNDAY ROAST ONLY $18.70 A KILO THAT’S RIGHT ONLY $18.70 A KILO WHAT AN AMAZING PRICE HONESTLY THAT'S BELOW COST YOU’D PAY MORE FOR A NAKED SMA HOTDOG MADE FROM UNLEY OVAL DOG SHIT AND THE STRAY CATS THAT WERE DUMPED IN A PORT POWER GYM BAG AS FILLER FOR THE LOCAL NIGHTLY NEWS SO DON’T WASTE YOUR HARD-EARNED ON STADIUM SCAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN FEED YOUR FAMILY WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL GIANT PRIME RIB ON SPECIAL TODAY FOR ONLY $18.70 A KILO WHILE STOCKS LAST RAW PINE BEDSIDES!!!”

Thanks John.

And now for the opposition analysis.

Stephen Coniglio
Asymmetric haircut, eyes too close together, would not bang. 3/10.

Tom Scully
Mouth-breather, looks 12 years old, probably still wets the bed. 2/10.

Matthew Buntine
Not Chad Wingard, drifter/serial killer vibe, won't even play, get a haircut. 1/10.

So all things considered we might lose but equally we might win because 7 days is an extended period in our great game and past performance is not an indicator of future results but then again it could be. All I know for certain is that stadium food is shit and Johnny Boy’s pro-hawking was f@&king super and I think it will inspire our ORTS to greatness this week.

Ports by 11 or 32.

View attachment 528436

Matthew Buntine looks like a Police suspect sketch:



Oh and GWS by 37. Their run and spread from stoppages will be too much for us.

 

[RussellEbertHandball]

We will lift for this. We seem to play to the standard of the opposition. play crap opponents we produce a crap game.

Dixon will ruck. Ken has given up on Billy. Westhoff to CHF and Watts to FF. Hopefully Trengove comes back and Barry in for Amon and we give Lienert a go.

 

[WHOME]

Only know 2 things for sure, if we win it will be ugly, if we lose it will be uglier.

On [device_name] using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Jonts]

We will lift for this. We seem to play to the standard of the opposition. play crap opponents we produce a crap game.

Dixon will ruck. Ken has given up on Billy. Westhoff to CHF and Watts to FF. Hopefully Trengove comes back and Barry in for Amon and we give Lienert a go.

I agree with you 100%

but why extend him by 2 years last year not 1? I didn't understand it then and certainly don't now.

 

[Contested Marx]

Top Preview.

Here's a song which is depressing enough for contrast. It's about a giant, so it's appropriate.

The Giant of Illinois

The Giant of Illinois
Died from a blister on his toe
After walking all day through the first winter's snow

Throwing bits of stale bread to the last speckled doves
He never even felt his shoe full of blood

Delirious with pain, his bedroom walls began to glow
And he felt himself soaring up through falling snow
And the sky was a woman's arms
The sky was a woman's arms

A boy with a club foot
Had sat next to him in school
Once upon a summer's day they went wandering through the woods

They spotted a sleeping swan
On the banks of a muddy stream
And they stormed it with rocks till it collapsed in the reeds

They lay out on a green lawn full of chocolate and lemonade
But under the blue bowl the giant was afraid
Because the sky was a woman's arms
The sky was a woman's arms

 

[Isaac Cumming No 1]

Matthew Buntine looks like a Police suspect sketch:

View attachment 528521

Oh and GWS by 37. Their run and spread from stoppages will be too much for us.

Fun fact

Bunts was Cleo Bachelor of the year in 2016.

 

[Doctor Feel]

Fun fact

Bunts was Cleo Bachelor of the year in 2016.

That wasn't fun.