The Comprehensive List of Ways in Which Geelong Cheat

[Wish Wellingtons]

This is solid gold and must be high up on the list.

Also note that because we give away more frees against on average than for in our games, this is FURTHER PROOF OF A CONSPIRACY - a deliberate smokescreen.

I also love #6 about not playing decent opposition on our home ground. By definition we play decent opposition at neutral venues or THEIR home grounds = CHEATING!! UNFAIR ADVANTAGE!!

23. Continued success. This proves we must be up to something.

OP has my support. Thread title could perhaps be a little more imaginative. I like the idea of the thread being a sarcastic confession./

I see this thread as a precursor to a mainboard thread, i am just using to pool together enough material.

Anyway, I wrote a thread under a different alias a few years ago that was all about the geelong players making other geelong players look good. Actually, it was heavily laced in sarcasm and confused some people aswell. I just find if you say something out loud and simplify an opinion people can understand how stupid it is...

 

[Beth]

voodoo - we are responsible for other teams choking in the close games.

 

[Catlad]

Damn our cheatimg ways!! I hope the afl steps in and does something to stop our period of sustained success like take our best pla...oh wait

Geelong, y u always cheating?

 

[Partridge]

This is solid gold and must be high up on the list.

Also note that because we give away more frees against on average than for in our games, this is FURTHER PROOF OF A CONSPIRACY - a deliberate smokescreen.

I also love #6 about not playing decent opposition on our home ground. By definition we play decent opposition at neutral venues or THEIR home grounds = CHEATING!! UNFAIR ADVANTAGE!!

23. Continued success. This proves we must be up to something.

OP has my support. Thread title could perhaps be a little more imaginative. I like the idea of the thread being a sarcastic confession./

24. Winning at least 7 games per year, every year since 1973. That's nearly 40 consecutive years of never being substandard. That is an incredible statistic.

 

[Scottland2007]

# 376: By spending 6 days in QLD training after the west coast game.
# 378: By only having 3 flights after 2 away games instead of 4.
# 379: By skipping number 377.

 

[Vitamin K]

Didn't we also have the audacity to do something completely legal with Chappy's hamstrings (or was it Maxy's calf blood shots?).

Outrageous.

 

[topic97]

Didn't we also have the audacity to do something completely legal with Chappy's hamstrings (or was it Maxy's calf blood shots?).

Outrageous.

Oooh that one was a bit line ball..... I am pretty sure it was very close to blood dopeing what went on there!!
Just that they injected the blood back into his hamstrings instead of the bloodstream!!

But still, its not against the rules!!

 

[The rabbi]

Have not beaten a team above them on the ladder.

'ken cheats

 

[Wish Wellingtons]

Have not beaten a team above them on the ladder.

'ken cheats

Weren't Collingwood above us on %age?

 

[Wish Wellingtons]

Resting players who may be fit to play.

 

[loz14]

Resting players who may be fit to play.

Surely that's not fair??!!!

Don't forget players who are out through suspension....that's obviously cheating!

 

[Bastet]

This thread is a classic!

Surely that's not fair??!!!

Don't forget players who are out through suspension....that's obviously cheating!

Of course - Geelong players are by definition dirty sniping cheaters - they imbibe their dirty snipingness with their mothers' milk. If they aren't suspended, they should have been. And if they are, it's the AFL conspiracy to give our players a rest so they'll be fit for the finals.

Every free kick awarded to a Geelong player is evidence of "cheating" and is probably due to said player performing sexual favours for all AFL umpires. Because it couldn't possibly be because the Geelong player actually earned the free, and the opponent was stupid enough to give it away, could it?

And lest we forget, we didn't actually win some of the games the ladder (and the scoreboard at the time) says we won. We really lost two games somewhere, but our brilliant cheating cheatingness made everyone think we're undefeated. Shameful.

It must be so interesting living in some of those Bay 13 posters' worlds.

 

[RegHickeyStand]

Last week I saw on several occasions a Geelong player intercept a pass that was clearly intended to go to an opponent. The umpire just stood there and did nothing.

 

[Bangkok Ed]

Simpson not throwing the ball to an opposition player for a compensatory free when the umpire did a crap centre bounce to our advantage was a clear example of our blackhearted cheating. Even the commentators couldn't believe the perfidy of the alliance between the GFC and the maggots.

 

[joe444]

rephrase: By not winning a single game against a side currently above them on the ladder.

763. By retaining a home ground and identity - therefore refusing to become 'one of us, one of us, one of us ....'

764. By arrogantly showing off our humility in premiership celebrations and starting traditions like giving a present to the Auskick kids who give out the medals. That was just an attempt to make ourselves look good to the AFL by not carrying on like ar$eholes. Now they want us to win as many flags as possible.

765. By not winning every game by 50+ points, therefore relying on luck, unlike any other recent premier. That's cheating.

766. By winning too many games by 50+ points, which is arrogant. And boring. Therefore cheating.

767. By kicking the last three goals of the 2009 Grand Final we cheated Saints fans of the chance to whinge about being denied two premierships by a kick ... oh, wait.

 

[winty]

# 376: By spending 6 days in QLD training after the west coast game.
# 378: By only having 3 flights after 2 away games instead of 4.
# 379: By skipping number 377.

I lol'd at that.

Surely we've done a bit of draft tampering over the years. I'm sure we convinced Pelchen and the Hawks that Selwood wasn't any good, which made them go and pick up Mitch Thorp instead. We probably told the Lions we were interested in Fev too, which made them snap him up and leave us the opportunity to pick up Menzel. The best one was Pods though. We managed to convince half a dozen clubs who had him on the rookie list not to upgrade him for years before we pounced on him. One of them was Collingwood, and who kicked what was ultimately the winning goal in Round 8? That's right, Pods!

We also managed to sabotage some of our rivals by offloading some players on them. Henry Playfair, Paul Chambers and David Spriggs did nothing at Sydney, likewise Steven King and Charlie Gardiner at St.Kilda. Essendon have been treading water since Prismall joined them. The Dogs have gone downhill since they got Djerrkura. We really pulled one over Richmond though. They actually finished above us in 2006. We delisted Kingsley and they picked him up. We won the flag in 2007 and they won the spoon. This ties in well to the point about Pods too. He was doing pre-season training at Richmond that year, but they only had one spot on their list, so they picked Kingsley over Pods. That worked out well for them.

We only need to find a way to get Blake to Hawthorn and some other list clogger to Collingwood in the post season, and we're set.

 

[InnocentBystandr]

..... they only had one spot on their list, so they picked Kingsley over Pods.

Did not realise that! I thought getting Otto out of Richmond was enough.

Richmond supporters must be really pi55ed-off at us.

 

[winty]

Did not realise that! I thought getting Otto out of Richmond was enough.

Richmond supporters must be really pi55ed-off at us.

I remember reading that in an article in the Herald-Sun last year asking why it had taken so long for Pods to get an AFL game. Had a good chuckle when I read that too.

 

[loz14]

Did not realise that! I thought getting Otto out of Richmond was enough.

Richmond supporters must be really pi55ed-off at us.

Furthermore I am certain the club were well aware of Beamer Moloney's binge drinking problem so we traded him to get Otto....

God Dam Cheats!!!

 

[BrisWesty]

#501 - For not kicking straight enough to satisfy Kiss Stephanie.
#502 - For punishing a player for a drugs misdemeanor.
#503 - Bomber not blowing blood vessels in the coaches box.
#504 - Varcoe dragging an opposition player away from the ball.
#505 - Using the sub rule well.
#506 - Giving away irregular frees for interchange infractions.
#507 - For sending Michael J Fox back in a time machine to encourage GA snr to come to Geelong so we could then get GA Jnr. Malcolm Blight subsequently went back to make GASnr have Nathan, so he could encourage GA Jnr up to the Gold Coast. (OK so this is more of a conspiracy theory than a cheat.)

 

[Bastet]

672. Not bottoming out or tanking for priority picks. All part of the Fiendishly Cunning Plan.

 

[Beth]

Moral thieving. According to Greg Baum in todays Age mathmatically we sit atop the ladder but morally Collingwood belongs there. I think there should be a moral ladder then we would have 3 losses and we wouldn't be such awful cheats.

 

[Shell]

Obviously we didnt cheat enough last round, cause we lost!!!

Disappointed Geelong, pls raise your efforts when it comes to cheating next week.

#501 - For not kicking straight enough to satisfy Kiss Stephanie.
.)

-shudder-.

Please dont mention that name again on this board.

 

[Scottland2007]

Last week I saw on several occasions a Geelong player intercept a pass that was clearly intended to go to an opponent. The umpire just stood there and did nothing.

This made me LOL. Brilliant!

 

[InnocentBystandr]

Moral thieving. According to Greg Baum in todays Age mathmatically we sit atop the ladder but morally Collingwood belongs there. I think there should be a moral ladder then we would have 3 losses and we wouldn't be such awful cheats.

This idea could take off and have it's own thread!

Eg:
Collingwood should be the 2007 Moral Premiers - we only 'just' beat them in the PF and they would have smashed PA more than we did!

St Kilda should be 2009 Moral Premiers - Hawkins 'goal' that hit the post, and Scarlo should have been penalised for that 'rushed behind'.

but it works the other way too...

Geelong should be 1995 Moral Premiers as Carlton 'rorted' the salary cap.