Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[Markfs]

The ranga is really turning back the clock.

I have warm fuzzy feelings about little johnny because of that goal but then i think of the first half last week...and that terrible complexion.... I have bigger fish to fry but he might be put back in the fryer later this year

 

[Wearmouth]

Call the engraver. Pull out the Mr Muscle to polish it all up. This years indisputable winner of the Annual Ephialtes Award. And he is a runaway winner. Even this early in the season.

I never thought we could lose a trade so badly. To the point the longer this player keeps playing for us. He widens the gap. He usurped a FlagPie and an All Australian with a promise of dominating the inside ground for us.

But that has all be folly. His efforts can only be described as coach killing. Momentum killing and furthermore souls destroying for teammates and supporters alike.

There is no one on our list who over estimates his own abilities like this guy. To the point he thinks in his box head that he was captain material. He not only bites off more than he can chew, that I’m not to sure that he actually knows how to use utensils to eat his food.

The only way forward from here would be to send him to East Keilor so that Heater can see for himself. And offer him a complete apology. Seeing as we are trying to do better anyway.

If ever there was a player who epitomized the term prolapsed forehead. This is our man.

Without further embarrassment I give you the utterly incompetent, peripherally unaware and without a doubt the worst trade the club has ever initiated.

The 2023 Annual Ephialtes Award recipient.

Tay Tay “The Incompetent” Adams.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[sr36]

Call the engraver. Pull out the Mr Muscle to polish it all up. This years indisputable winner of the Annual Ephialtes Award. And he is a runaway winner. Even this early in the season.

I never thought we could lose a trade so badly. To the point the longer this player keeps playing for us. He widens the gap. He usurped a FlagPie and an All Australian with a promise of dominating the inside ground for us.

But that has all be folly. His efforts can only be described as coach killing. Momentum killing and furthermore souls destroying for teammates and supporters alike.

There is no one on our list who over estimates his own abilities like this guy. To the point he thinks in his box head that he was captain material. He not only bites off more than he can chew, that I’m not to sure that he actually knows how to use utensils to eat his food.

The only way forward from here would be to send him to East Keilor so that Heater can see for himself. And offer him a complete apology. Seeing as we are trying to do better anyway.

If ever there was a player who epitomized the term prolapsed forehead. This is our man.

Without further embarrassment I give you the utterly incompetent, peripherally unaware and without a doubt the worst trade the club has ever initiated.

The 2023 Annual Ephialtes Award recipient.

Tay Tay “The Incompetent” Adams.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Magnificent work weary. For 3 quarters, I was alternating my abuse between Tay Tay and the ranga, but then the ranga absolved himself of a fair few sins towards the end. Tay Tay definitely got the 3 votes today.

 

[Markfs]

Call the engraver. Pull out the Mr Muscle to polish it all up. This years indisputable winner of the Annual Ephialtes Award. And he is a runaway winner. Even this early in the season.

I never thought we could lose a trade so badly. To the point the longer this player keeps playing for us. He widens the gap. He usurped a FlagPie and an All Australian with a promise of dominating the inside ground for us.

But that has all be folly. His efforts can only be described as coach killing. Momentum killing and furthermore souls destroying for teammates and supporters alike.

There is no one on our list who over estimates his own abilities like this guy. To the point he thinks in his box head that he was captain material. He not only bites off more than he can chew, that I’m not to sure that he actually knows how to use utensils to eat his food.

The only way forward from here would be to send him to East Keilor so that Heater can see for himself. And offer him a complete apology. Seeing as we are trying to do better anyway.

If ever there was a player who epitomized the term prolapsed forehead. This is our man.

Without further embarrassment I give you the utterly incompetent, peripherally unaware and without a doubt the worst trade the club has ever initiated.

The 2023 Annual Ephialtes Award recipient.

Tay Tay “The Incompetent” Adams.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I thought the name would be freddie... not that we gave much for this gaggle of skin and bones, but it's the amount of inconvenience that he causes....the amount of intervention by doctors, nurses, physios, psychs, medecine men, pig slaughterers and then the impact on the coaches who have to make up for his ongoing, continuous, calamitous failures..... he is a piece of crap and I would be driving down the road to geelong to dump his body outside the main gates of kardinia park....

but gee..there are always other opinions

 

[Markfs]

I have to make a note about Ian Hill

37

Ian Hill

Age

25

Ht

175cm

Wt

73kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.2

2star

K

5.7

2star

HB

3.6

3star

M

2.1

2star

T

2.4

4star

G

0.8

4star

D

5.0

1star

K

2.0

1star

HB

3.0

2star

M

1.0

1star

T

0.0

1star

G

0.0

1star

D

10.4

3star

K

6.0

3star

HB

4.4

4star

M

1.8

2star

T

2.6

4star

G

1.0

4star

. He is a choker. He's displayed a week of choking. He likes the showy crap but his head gets filled with adrenaline and he turns into a rudderless wimp who cant stick a tackle and is incapable of making a decent decision. He might have started out ok but he will be in the gutter by year's end...He's not up for it

 

[Markfs]

A word about Darcy's word at half-time. I would have been more appreciative if he also gave Russhuto a left cross and dropped him but it's a great start for Darcy who has spent too much time auditioning for public office since he was made captain. Not surprising that the magpie faithful were impressed that they finally understood something said by their captain. Hopefully, he really lets lose in the coming months and frees up his hands and elbows....

 

[Markfs]

I'm asking myself whether we have finally seen the end of ned kelly jnr when the ex captain returns. His dad is well known to drive a hard bargain and there might still be something left in the agreement to play him. The fact that we lost freddie so early allowed Junior to demonstrate his gutless no-contact approach to footy.....and we have to remind ourselves that we are currently seeing Junior at his best. He is in the middle of the best form of his career. Previously, he couldnt even be coaxed to go near the ball in the VFL. Surely, the club has done enough for him now. We need to have 18 players on the field in the coming months if we have to continue to carry the hyphen, as well as other useless players

 

[Markfs]

i was just wondering what the panel thought about the collingwood faithful selectively booing certain players during games - our players, of course. Now booing outside the normal parameters is accepted best practice, maybe the faithful can boo players like the hyphen while they quietly cycle on their exercise bike.... thoughts?

 

[Markfs]

Compare and contrast Ned Jnr's post match with Mihocek's. One is well-educated and eloquent, the other can hardly string two words together. One can actually play the game and doesnt mind the physical contact, while the other is riding on the coat-tails of his father and is a wimp....It takes all types to make up a footy team, but some types just arent welcome...

 

[sr36]

I'm asking myself whether we have finally seen the end of ned kelly jnr when the ex captain returns. His dad is well known to drive a hard bargain and there might still be something left in the agreement to play him. The fact that we lost freddie so early allowed Junior to demonstrate his gutless no-contact approach to footy.....and we have to remind ourselves that we are currently seeing Junior at his best. He is in the middle of the best form of his career. Previously, he couldnt even be coaxed to go near the ball in the VFL. Surely, the club has done enough for him now. We need to have 18 players on the field in the coming months if we have to continue to carry the hyphen, as well as other useless players

It's going to be humiliating to be dropped and replaced by a grandpa, so I'm all for it.

 

[nahnah]

Still trying to figure out who my whipping boy is after all the old faithfuls got the chop

 

[Markfs]

Still trying to figure out who my whipping boy is after all the old faithfuls got the chop

I watched the clip of mason cox's highlights and I saw chris mayne....and i remembered that year of his that i blocked out of my memory. Years like that are difficult to replica, not even the hyphen can make that many mistakes. But the lesson is, that there will always be another whipping boy

I just did a search on Maynie and he was appointed coach of Trinity College at the end of 2022. Evidently he wants to be an AFL coach. I would argue that he would make a better lifestyle coach teaching young ugly guys how to attract good looking women...

 

[Markfs]

It's going to be humiliating to be dropped and replaced by a grandpa, so I'm all for it.

He is beyond humiliation... He just wants his dad to be proud of him.

 

[Markfs]

Good news on chris mayne. He fathered a son 18 months ago, but chris only played 75 odd games with the Pies....

 

[noideaatall]

Sorry to be late to the party, bloody reception in Canberra is like Wilson. Six hours of dedication to reach the usual conclusion. Don't know what this Ephialtes Award is all about Ronnie, sounds like an STD. Is it something for Jordy? I actually like the idea of a range of awards, given there seems some disagreement on what this thread is about. Markfs could cover the mongrel award, VP the puffer award, etc, etc. There is a place for everyone in this thread. I am going to stick to the Blair Memorial, its straight forward critieria, the player the greatest analytical minds of our board suggest should be out each week suits my simple mind.

On that matter, either our whipping works or WHE has been holding back for years. Marking, tackling, running. Its challenging, the field has clearly opened up for the Blair Memorial. Moustache is in the running, though not this week. Kelly definitely placed but suspect he won't be around to poll later in the season. Kruegar placed, for fragility. Auntie Jack needs to rip his bloody arms off. I am going to give the three points to Elliot. Read his thread, the brighter analytical minds here have identified his sore, can't mark or kick a goal to save himself and is due for a tap on the shoulder at the end of this year.

 

[Vicky Park]

Compare and contrast Ned Jnr's post match with Mihocek's. One is well-educated and eloquent, the other can hardly string two words together. One can actually play the game and doesnt mind the physical contact, while the other is riding on the coat-tails of his father and is a wimp....It takes all types to make up a footy team, but some types just arent welcome...

How dare you suggest that Checkers is riding on the coat-tails of his father and is a wimp!

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Good news on chris mayne. He fathered a son 18 months ago, but chris only played 75 odd games with the Pies....

Surprised his sperm could swim that far given his terrible “metres gained” stats at Collingwood….

 

[Markfs]

Surprised his sperm could swim that far given his terrible “metres gained” stats at Collingwood….

evidently, they moved sideways up the required path...

 

[Markfs]

How dare you suggest that Checkers is riding on the coat-tails of his father and is a wimp!

Jack Mihocek was an amazing player for essendon who played 13 amazing games. Brody is still trying to live up to his dad's level...

 

[Markfs]

Sorry to be late to the party, bloody reception in Canberra is like Wilson. Six hours of dedication to reach the usual conclusion. Don't know what this Ephialtes Award is all about Ronnie, sounds like an STD. Is it something for Jordy? I actually like the idea of a range of awards, given there seems some disagreement on what this thread is about. Markfs could cover the mongrel award, VP the puffer award, etc, etc. There is a place for everyone in this thread. I am going to stick to the Blair Memorial, its straight forward critieria, the player the greatest analytical minds of our board suggest should be out each week suits my simple mind.

On that matter, either our whipping works or WHE has been holding back for years. Marking, tackling, running. Its challenging, the field has clearly opened up for the Blair Memorial. Moustache is in the running, though not this week. Kelly definitely placed but suspect he won't be around to poll later in the season. Kruegar placed, for fragility. Auntie Jack needs to rip his bloody arms off. I am going to give the three points to Elliot. Read his thread, the brighter analytical minds here have identified his sore, can't mark or kick a goal to save himself and is due for a tap on the shoulder at the end of this year.

I do agree with Elliot becoming a problem. Obviously, living on his deeds from last year. I would trade him while he's still worth something. I saw on the weekend that he had a kick similar to his famous one from last year, but it was 15 metres further in. He kicked it out on the full.....doesnt that say it all? His time has passed...I'd probably award him the chris mayne memorial prize

 

[noideaatall]

I do agree with Elliot becoming a problem. Obviously, living on his deeds from last year. I would trade him while he's still worth something. I saw on the weekend that he had a kick similar to his famous one from last year, but it was 15 metres further in. He kicked it out on the full.....doesnt that say it all? His time has passed...I'd probably award him the chris mayne memorial prize

So is this your award? I think it incredibly relevant. What is the basis: shocking haircut, worst recruit ever OT most negative meters gained.

 

[Markfs]

So is this your award? I think it incredibly relevant. What is the basis: shocking haircut, worst recruit ever OT most negative meters gained.

sustained uselessness ....

most negative metres gained per $

sustained sucking up to captain in order to stay in the seniors...

 

[Markfs]

Chris was told not to shock the baby in the early months

 

[noideaatall]

sustained uselessness ....

most negative metres gained per $

sustained sucking up to captain in order to stay in the seniors...

Excellant criteria. I like the second one, its always good to involve stats in analysis. I can't really comment on the first, something in your kitbag? Maybe we need to get Jen involved for the third criteria but will take you opinion. I do know its traditional the JB Memorial Award winner has photos of the coach. Any photos of Darcy out there? Hair in a bun or something?

 

[Markfs]

Excellant criteria. I like the second one, its always good to involve stats in analysis. I can't really comment on the first, something in your kitbag? Maybe we need to get Jen involved for the third criteria but will take you opinion. I do know its traditional the JB Memorial Award winner has photos of the coach. Any photos of Darcy out there? Hair in a bun or something?

maynie's gone, noidea.... we exorcised the demon. I personally undermined his relationship with pendles....while i was working on the the micro blair's departure. THis job requires a broad vision....here endeth the lesson