Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[Ford Fairlane]

Puns is the one stop shop for dad jokes

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[wannabejack]

 

[philreich]

My doctor did a test, and found blood in my alcohol sample.

 

[pastmyprimus]

My doctor told me that I'm colour blind. That came out of the purple

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Loony Juice]

What do you call a factory that makes ok products?

A satisfactory

 

[Loony Juice]

My dog has just eaten a whole set of scrabble tiles

we have taken him to the vets.... but no word yet

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[FourthTimeAround]

Do people understand how inappropriate it is to make Dad jokes in this thread if they're not a real Dad?
Clearly a faux pa.

 

[FourthTimeAround]

Everyone feels a little sad on a Sunday before the working week starts.
But personally, I always think that the day before is a sadder day.

 

[philreich]

Instead of trying to work out who should wear the pants in the family, it should be remembered that relationships actually work best when nobody is wearing pants.

 

[killtaker1993]

What can mathematicians and pedophiles agree on?

3, 5, 7, 9 and 11 are prime numbers

 

[Relativity]

What can mathematicians and pedophiles agree on?

3, 5, 7, 9 and 11 are prime numbers

Let me be the BF pedant. 9 is not a prime number.

 

[killtaker1993]

Let me be the BF pedant. 9 is not a prime number.

Pedos don't mind, because they can have three 3s instead

 

[Contested Marx]

Maths jokes about sex, good work with the square roots

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[GremioPower]

 

[davesnothere]

 

[FourthTimeAround]

The real reason Forrest Gump was discharged from the Armed Forces was his inability to keep his secure email password secret.
Everyone knew it was "1Forrest1".

 

[killtaker1993]

A guy comes home with a bocquet of flowers for his wife.

"So I guess I'm going to have to spread my legs?" she says

"Why?" he says "Don't you have a vase?"

 

[davesnothere]

 

[davesnothere]

Best graffiti ever.