3rd Ashes Test England v Australia July 6-10 1930hrs @ Headingley

[Titch3Votes0MooreAA]

Report: Have A Sook You Bloated Old Pommie *head​

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A report commissioned by the nation’s peak scientific body has found that the bloated old Pommie heads in the Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) that abused members of the Australian cricket team in their fancy room can have a ****** sook.

Earlier this morning local time, the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) published the short study which has since been ironically criticised by the MCC as being “classless”.

Speaking to The Advocate today, Professor Glen Rutman from the CSIRO explained that Alex Carey did nothing wrong and poor man’s James Graham needs to learn to ground his bat before he goes for a stroll up the wicket.

“Those old Poms in the long room at Lords, where do I even start,” he said.

“Imagine getting abused by some red-faced old goon that’s one big sneeze away from a stroke. They can go have a sook. It’s not like England are the moral high ground when it comes to everything. Stuart Broad embraces being called a cheat. If anyone on that team has earned the right to sling mud, it’s that Ben Stokes. He just said it wasn’t on but who cares,”

“He’s a Kiwi Gemini. He is a sook but he’s a tough sook. Mate, the Poms can learn a thing or two from Big Ben. Without him, they’d just be a Tongue and a Root.”

The Advocate reached out to the MCC for comment but they’re sleeping.

More to come.

"Without him, they’d just be a Tongue and a Root.”

 

[Colonial]

No they are not. They are incredibly dumb.

In the rules, the only definition of a finally settled ball is that it is whatever the umpire says is a finally settled ball. That's it. Purely subjective by the ump.

But the rules also state that whether or not the umpire perceives a dead ball also depends on him perceiving that both teams have indicated that they no longer consider the ball to be in play. So they in fact actually do decide between them what consitutes a dead ball prior to the umpire. And then whether the ump actually signals a dead ball is left optional.

That's why the idea of sporting conventions exist around this rule as written - because it's stupid. It requires three inter-subjective perceptions from three parties where each determines whether the ball is or isn't in play.

And it leads to this exact clusterf*ck of a situation.

I don’t see how the umpire calling over is subjective.
Wasn’t a cluster**** it was a wicket.
The correct call.
Pommies attempted the same thing. Missed.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Mwahahaha, I love the English getting fired up over this. I have absolutely no sympathy for these pathetic poms. The standard of umpiring and play in this series has been diabolical. Multiple times the TV umpire has ignored certain version, preferred strange interpretations against Australia or - in the Starc case - just created entirely antithetical analysis of convoluted laws all favouring England. On top of that, England were allowed to bowl almost 6 bouncers an over and were never called up. There is something fishy going on in the TV umpiring, broadcasting and umpiring of these games generally and we are pushing on through that adversity and winning.

Bairstow got out because he's stupid. All the honey between his fat ears has obviously clouded his judgment and made him forget 20 years of cricket experience. He left his crease for no reason, immediately without checking where the ball ended up and got punished for it. Sharpen up Jonny you bum.

One thing’s for sure, he won’t go out that way again.
Maybe…

 

[Colonial]

One thing’s for sure, he won’t go out that way again.
Maybe…

He is an airhead. He will definitely get caught out again.

 

[Titch3Votes0MooreAA]

This is all that needs to be said.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Bairstow screwed up.

Disappointing for a senior test cricketer.

It's as simple as that.

As did Starc.

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

 

[peternorth]

According to the Cricket, Et Cetera, WG Grace ran out Sammy Jones in the same manner as Bairstows dismissal.

 

[Steel Eagles]

Now we know why Bairstow left his crease :-

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

Damn - what a shame. Five days of rain would result in Australia retaining the little urn .

Not what's been reported here Phil.

BREAKING: England Confirm They Are Actually 2-0 Up After 'Feeling Like They Won' Another Test

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Australian cricket fans have today received a rude shock, after learning that their team is not in fact up 2-0 in the Ashes. Even worse, Australian cricket fans have been informed that their team is actually 2-0 down! With 2 of 5 tests played, the Australians now...

www.betootaadvocate.com

 

[ABAB]

The sooking from the poms is delicious.

And they are fighting amongst themselves which make it even funnier, even Atherton said he was getting a tongue lashing because he said he saw nothing wrong with the Bairstow dismissal and the comments on BBC are split with England supporters saying it's part of the game and Bairstow was just stupid and those saying "cheats" lol.

 

[Around the Wicket]

Video online revealing what was said to Khawaja.. it was "you bunch of ****ing cheats"

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

 

[Harrison Bergeron]

As did Starc.

By doing nothing different to what he & every other outfielder in the history of the game has always done?

 

[carloss]

 

[Pistol Night]

Video online revealing what was said to Khawaja.. it was "you bunch of ******* cheats"

Dumb ****s. The umps gave it out. Trying to bring the sandpaper bullshit up again shows how rattled they are over there

 

[Around the Wicket]

I don't one bit agree with it being out as he paused and it was the end of the over but yea.. seen heaps of videos today of Bairstow doing similar stuff, tried exactly what Carey done couple times same match, probably gave Carey the idea lol

 

[Around the Wicket]

Has been done before and team removed there appeal. McCullum was the keeper as well lol

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

Massive hypocrite and a w***er.

The Poms are mugging themselves off with their duplicity.

 

[Sir_Loin]

This is all that needs to be said.

Murph has a pretty good coaching group around him in Vettori and Gaz

 

[Sir_Loin]

Linda Lovelace any thoughts on the laws of the game?

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

Linda Lovelace any thoughts on the laws of the game?

The laws don't apply to the English mate.

And this mythical "spirit of the game" only applies when it suits them.

 

[4flagsin5yrs]

Any footage of this?

Baz did it when keeping for NZ too.

 

[BuildEmUp]

The positive for Green is he's still contributing, got 2 wickets (should have had 3 no ball in the first innings), had a poor test with the bat that's all.

Green is still green (xcuse the pun) a developing player surrounded by good experience, I too am exasperated at his bowling sometimes, but it i s just inexperience, in 2-3 years he will be a weapon. Cummins throwing him to the lions ( stokes) and asking him to bowl short long hops in the hope of getting lucky ended up in 24 runs in one over... no thought to dropping in a length ball, no words from Cummins coming over to him and giving advice .. he was liek a deer in the headlights, and not really his fault - Captain should have assede the situation and not bowledhim, particlularly from that end. He does need to work on playing spin though when batting.

 

[Around the Wicket]

Baz did it when keeping for NZ too.

Reversed the appeal though by Vettori.