Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[Grave Danger]

 

[finbarr]

Apparently in the 1970's William Shatner twice proposed to Stevie Nicks, but she turned him down both times. Her reason? She didn't want to be called Stevie Shatner-Nicks....

 

[Jojay]

 

[VineValerian]

View attachment 2011114

I don't ****ing know, FFS.

 

[Peninsula Boy]

Where the apostrophe?

 

[SC_Power]

I don't ****ing know, FFS.

Isn't it FF'sS?

 

[Jojay]

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[philreich]

My wife sent me down to the corner shop to buy some deodorant. When I brought it back and put it on the kitchen table, she says to me, "You know we use a roll on deodorant - you brought back a stick deodorant. I don't even know how to use a stick deodorant."

I replied, "Well read the instructions."

She did. The instructions read, "Remove cap, push up bottom."

The poor thing can hardly walk, but she made a whole room smell like a pine forest when she farted.

 

[Duck Farmer]

My wife sent me down to the corner shop to buy some deodorant. When I brought it back and put it on the kitchen table, she says to me, "You know we use a roll on deodorant - brought back a stick deodorant. I don't even know how to use a stick deodorant."

I replied, "Well read the instructions."

She did. The instructions read, "Remove cap, push up bottom."

The poor thing can hardly walk, but she made a whole room smell like a pine forest when she farted.

A man walked into a shop and asked for some deodorant.

Shop Assistant: "Ball or aerosol?"

Man: "Neither. I want it for my armpits."

 

[VineValerian]

View attachment 2012911

The answer to his question is:

Yes. If you look in a copy of New House magazine.

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Jojay]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[philreich]

 

[Jojay]

 

[finbarr]

 

[philreich]

 

[finbarr]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[philreich]

 

[philreich]

As a public servant, this one is near and dear to my heart .