Official Match Thread Season 37 Round 12 - Roys FFC v Gumbies FFC at Brunswick Junction Oval

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Game day!

And only the Gumbies should observe this following post!

I can't seem to find my golden pocket watch, so the handcuffs I have sitting on my bedside table will have to do...

But ahem

Gumbies, ignore the fact they may or may not be one of my many sex toys, but I want you to follow the swinging motion of the handcuffs. Follow them as they swing side to side. Side to side. Yes, that's right. You're beginning to feel sleepy. Very sleepy. I want you all to relax and forget your troubles. I specifically want you to forget to take the field against the Roys today. Yes, yes. Good! I want you all to breathe in, then hold, then exhale. Relaaaaax. Now, I want you to close your eyes and gently concentrate on falling asleep. I want you to fall into a very deep, relaxing sleep... and I'll be back at full-time of the game wake you all up.

Hypnotize Im Free GIF by Kassi Ashton


(This may be our best advantage to gain victory Roys! Just trust the process!)

Seriously though, hope it's a great game. Could do without another heart attack like against the Demons
Mate, if you want the Gumbies to fall asleep, you shoulda just asked me. I can drone on about cricket stats for a long time.
 

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Are you calling me a B arch?

Y was taken, so in the time horoured tradition of swapping boogers "Want to swap a BlueE for a BlackE?" chose E
But your MG is a B
 
China has less homeless people per capita than most democracies. That can be some food for thought for you.
Define homeless though - the fear to be homeless and what that motivates to tolerate
 
My hair clippers save me money as well as Aldi.
Plumbing discussions and you throw in your hair clippers comment - you need to change your diet mate of you are needing hair clippers for that
 
I’m so jealous. I wanted to be a tram driver when I was younger living in Melbourne. Then I moved to Mortlake and I’m now a goat herder
There is an uplift if ever I read one
 

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Pig avatars are a sign of good taste
The statement that a pig shares approximately 99.9% of its DNA with humans is not entirely accurate. While it's true that humans and pigs share many similarities in their genetic makeup, the actual genetic similarity is estimated to be around 85-90%
 
Interesting article here.

A British woman who married her dog created the website MarryYourPet.com, after she became ordained to marry humans with their pets, and has performed about 100 ceremonies.[13][14]

In 2005, another British woman reportedly married a dolphin.[15]

The Sudanese goat marriage incident made headlines in 2006, when a man was forced to marry a goat after being caught in a sexual interaction with it.[16]

Other reports of marriage include animals such as dogs, cats, frogs, and a dolphin.[17][18][19][20][21]

Other incidents of human animal relations took place in 2010, when 18-year-old Balinese man Ngurah Alit was found having sexual intercourse with a cow, who he claimed flirted with him.[22] As part of a Pecaruan ritual, the man was forced to marry the animal.[22] The ceremony was thought to cleanse the village of the immoral act of bestiality.[22] The cow was drowned in the ocean, while Alit's clothes were symbolically submerged in the sea as well.[22]
 

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Official Match Thread Season 37 Round 12 - Roys FFC v Gumbies FFC at Brunswick Junction Oval

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