Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[philreich]

 

[snozulu]

I told the doctor that I broke my arm in two places.


He told me to stop going to those places.

 

[Alberton Proud]

How do you get Pikachu on a bus ?

Pokemon

 

[SC_Power]

View attachment 1979649

Those people who think they're perfect are really annoying to those of us that are.

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[philreich]

 

[wannabejack]

Not really a dad joke.

 

[wannabejack]

Not really a dad joke.
View attachment 1983267

I guess it is a little sad.

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[MrsBlueSky]

What concert cost 45 cents to go to?
50 cent featuring Nickleback

 

[bomberclifford]

View attachment 1995669

Were you the boy Doctor Feel?

 

[Doctor Feel]

Were you the boy Doctor Feel?

Yes

 

[philreich]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[dirty2]

 

[MrsBlueSky]

I've got three. I made the first one up myself.

Policeman to suspect: Where's your house mate?"
Reply: "He's over there having a wee under the tree."

Rubbish truck driver to resident: "Where's ya bin mate?"
Reply: "I've been visiting my mum".
Driver: "No, where's ya wheely bin?"
Reply: "I've wheely bin in jail".

A dad told his mate he'd got really annoyed with his son.
"He asked me where is the book mark?"
"I was angry because he's 11 years old and still doesn't know my name's Brian."

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[dirty2]

 

[SC_Power]

Gave my son a driving lesson yesterday.
He started reversing out of the driveway
It reminded me of when I was learning to drive, and I remarked “ah, this takes me back”

 

[philreich]

Gave my son a driving lesson yesterday.
He started reversing out of the driveway
It reminded me of when I was learning to drive, and I remarked “ah, this takes me back”

Reminds me of an accident report from America: this person wrote:

"I backed into a driveway that isn't mine, and hit a tree that I don't have."

 

[MrsBlueSky]

Reminds me of an accident report from America: this person wrote:

"I backed into a driveway that isn't mine, and hit a tree that I don't have."

Or the insurance report for a traffic accident that wrote:
"The first thing I saw was this sad faced old man on the bonnet of my car."

 

[philreich]

Or the insurance report for a traffic accident that wrote:
"The first thing I saw was this sad faced old man on the bonnet of my car."

"I had been driving for 30 years when I had the accident." Understandable........

 

[SC_Power]

"I had been driving for 30 years when I had the accident." Understandable........

Luckily my grandpa died peacefully in his sleep.


Not screaming in pain like the passengers in his car did.

 

[MrsBlueSky]

You folk on this thread seem to have a very wicked sense of humour and I thought maybe you'd like to confess to something on another thread where all I've got out of people so far are confessions about one who wipes his bum without using much toilet paper and another bloke who holds his dick only with clean hands, which may be pretty funny to some people.
It's here if you'd like to make a confession: Home & Garden I have a confession to make...anyone else?

 

[philreich]