Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[Grave Danger]

 

[philreich]

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[philreich]

 

[240volt]

My wife wanted me to buy her a Telescope, I said I’ll look into it.

 

[Alberton Proud]

View attachment 2066686

The power of a separating comma !

 

[Alberton Proud]

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[SC_Power]

What starts with a W and ends with a T.

That’s a statement, not a question.

 

[SC_Power]

I know that only a fraction of you will find this funny, but did you know there’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator?

 

[SC_Power]

The power of a separating comma !

I am giving up, drinking for a month.

 

[Grave Danger]

What starts with a W and ends with a T.

That’s a statement, not a question.

Reminds me of: What always has four letters, sometimes nine, but never five.

 

[snozulu]

I ate horse at a restaurant once - wasn't great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful

 

[Grave Danger]

I ate horse at a restaurant once - wasn't great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful

Listed as Black Caviar on the menu?

 

[VineValerian]

I ate horse at a restaurant once - wasn't great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful

Stop horsing around.

 

[Duck Farmer]

Listed as Black Caviar on the menu?

Too soon.

 

[Grave Danger]

Too soon.

Sorry, Gerard.

 

[240volt]

Horse meat = 4@20 pies.

 

[philreich]

A coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is"?
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a free kick is given, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head.”
Do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, “And when I call you off the field so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dumb a–hole’, is it?”
Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”

 

[snozulu]

A coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is"?
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a free kick is given, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head.”
Do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, “And when I call you off the field so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dumb a–hole’, is it?”
Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”

Sack Hinkley

 

[dirty2]

A coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is"?
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a free kick is given, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head.”
Do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, “And when I call you off the field so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dumb a–hole’, is it?”
Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”

That kinda reminds me of my sperm donor...

Playing u12's was on the bench just before.half time... My sperm donor came up to me and told me to ask the coach if I'm going back on.. cos if I'm not we could leave early...

Stopped seeing him when I was around 13ish was a w***er.

*This isn't a joke despite being in joke thread...

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[SC_Power]

I thought I’d lose my ability to read this thread when I lost my sight.
Luckily the rehab consultant introduced me to Braille.
It was hard at first, but eventually I got a feel for it.

 

[Grave Danger]