Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[SC_Power]

How did the hacker escape the FBI investigation?

He ransomware.

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Portology]

 

[SC_Power]

I asked Massimo about what he thought of his captain’s behaviour on the weekend.
He replied “Si. Silly.”

 

[SonOfKek]

 

[GremioPower]

 

[philreich]

When I was a kid, I wanted a watch, but my grandfather gave me a set of bagpipes.

I said, "But I want to know what time it is."

He said, "Just play the pipes."

So I did, and my grumpy neighbour screamed at the top of his voice, "WHO'S PLAYING THE F***ING BAGPIPES AT 1AM?"

 

[Jojay]

 

[finbarr]

 

[snozulu]

View attachment 2115137

 

[philreich]

The wife got dressed up for a night out with her friends, then she walked into the lounge and asked me to rate her. "8 or 9 at least" I said.

"Out of 10?" she smiled... "Thanks, babe, I'm flattered". Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant beers.

 

[Jojay]

 

[Jojay]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Jojay]

 

[Portology]

View attachment 2137906

Can confirm that language is nuts. Years ago I won a free beer at maybe the only Polish restaurant in Barcelona by being able to pronounce this movie character's surname first time around...

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Jojay]

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[Grave Danger]

I asked a German bloke if he knew the square root of 81. He said no.

 

[philreich]

My son is wearing a Collingwood top as part of a social experiment to see how people react.

So far he has been punched, spat on and verbally abused.

It'll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.

 

[SC_Power]

My son is wearing a Collingwood top as part of a social experiment to see how people react.

So far he has been punched, spat on and verbally abused.

It'll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.

I bet he said “I’ve been a Collingwood fan for 5 minutes, and I already hate you Port Adelaide bastards.”

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[Jojay]

 

[philreich]